Assed Poems | Examples

Two legged Toxins

When they become a toxin in your mind 
when they steal, lie and threaten your life
even if their blood it's time to cut ALL ties.
Your heart was not meant to be used as a spittoon
your mind was not meant to be used as a trampoline 
for their a flimsy-half assed sobriety.
Walk away, cut them loose before they spit and cut on you.
Your life is a precious gem to be treated with respect
Two-legged toxins dullen luster and fang the pulse from the neck.

Chirps on a Wire

Growing old
things loved and cherished come and go
phone calls- text messages thinning 
tossed aside in a world of folly and frost-
 Growing old 
in a world that keeps getting colder
hard faces-hovering over graying steps
cobwebs in the corner of an empty nest
Growing old, another funeral procession -one friend less 
life becoming endless blue eulogy-nothing more nothing less
layers of experiences - wisdom made very little difference
the pearl got lost in the yellow froth of my mess.

  Growing old 
what am I to leave behind...
a fistful of photos- memories forgotten
a few half assed poems 
a small sac of dirty dimes
Where does time go when its tired
years lost to a breeze-like a willow in spring
hard times and regret chirp away at the mind
like sparrows on a line-so little time
Where did the time go
I wish I could buy a little bit more
to release dream from chrysalis
place barbed words back in the voice box
to pay for goals unmet
to water parched apologies  
to tether forgiveness to regret
where did the time go
growing old.

Torment

A wind blasted tree,
not lightning struck,
but raped
by a heartless wind.

Just the one tree
on a bare-assed hill,
It stands pallid and naked,
its bark striped away
by raging teeth.

I pick up a stick from the ground,
it’s a severed branch
as stiff as an artificial limb,
tap the storm-shorn trunk,
note that the tree
is not hollow yet.

If lightning had split it,
it would have echoed
a deeper, deadlier silence.

Within the wood
is a narrowly constricted throat,
it is still able to speak
through that elongated windpipe.

What did I hear?
I heard a caged wind
being strangled to death,
and death, it had a ghost-white face,

that’s what I heard,
that's what I thought I saw
through wide, and astonished eyes.

Kamala's Turned Up the Gas

     Harris can’t run from her record, for sure
     Never admitted Biden's health was poor
       Not running ‘half-assed’
       She’s turned up the gas
     Insisting the southern border’s secure

Moth Man Lament

Chasing this into that chasing that into this
chasing silhouettes into a half assed crevasse
echoing " boy what is your purpose on this earth earth. 

Poking the dark for a piece of velvet, a note from a harp
A claw pokes at the skin of the soul
a change of direction is needed again... pronto
Mamma was right nothing good comes from out of the dark.

Eating the light like a greasy moth 
pitting parched lips against brightness.
Just another false prophet holding an empty bic
in the cul-de-sac of middle class wish.

At least it was an honest attempt to find a grain of meaning.
In the dusk of my breath, the same silhouette yaps...
"Man" what is your purpose on this earth.

Praying in the Golden Temple

The slots spin,
the casino’s siren song
bellows its flashy music-box tune.

Click, click, click….

O so close!

“It’s not gambling,” she says,
“it’s just a half-assed prayer
we ritually repeat to a sleeping deity.
one that doesn’t like germy fingers
poking at her all night.

Don’t forget to wash your hands,
they provide restrooms,
for when we are tired
of crapping out
on the craps tables.”

Too Little Too Late

Know of a lady
Who patiently waited

To at last be seen
Seen and heard

Given the merest scraps
 Biding her time

Time she watched fly
as the swiftest bird

Always warmed with coffee in her bed
that he chilled from his own on the couch
 
And if you ask him if he loved 
his love for her would vouch

Yet he never sought to hold her
In the cradle of his arms

That he wrapped around a pillow
As to set off no alarms

Avoidant love is no love at all
Loves a verb not a word or some halfhearted token

Trinkets and roses and card bedside that's 
her life as her spirit you've broken


never feeling the inclination to act  in ways 
Causing another strife

Till suffering year upon year 
As his beloved wife

She said when she saw the flowers
the first in twenty odd years

The sight of them belated enraged her
Enraged her to the point of tears
 

You love non connection be honest
Save your cash and keep to  your crib 

If she could you know she would gladly
hand you back your rib

So afraid of being hurt you
Half assed your way into pain

 Now rest assured at least from her
you won't be put through it again

Time Passed

Time Passed
The sky was clear,
    the ocean blue,
        it was long ago

We walked along without fear,
    soft breezes blew,
        with the sky aglow.

Puffed white clouds above,
    sailed across the skies,
        we watched the flight of a pure white dove.

Back at that time,
    there was very little crime,
        and we shared our sighs.

But those times have passed,
    parents by their children are sassed,
        and everyone thinks they're bad assed.

Ham And Cheese On A Bun

It was the night before Christmas, and I couldn't sleep,
I got out of bed without so much as a peep.
And headed to the kitchen for something to eat,
buck naked, except for the slippers on my feet.

I didn't dare turn on the nightlight and wake my wife,
for the last time I did that, she threatened my life.
The house was dead quiet; I could not hear a sound
as I ventured downstairs, feeling my way around.

I got to the living room, stumbling a few times,
then I heard music that sounded like Christmas chimes.
So, I went to the window and pulled back the drapes,
thinking the neighbors were playing some Christmas tapes.

I forgot I was as naked as a jaybird;
till I heard the loudest scream I had ever heard.
The church quire was midnight-caroling on my lawn,
and in plain view, I stood bare-assed, not a stitch on.

Judging by the faces I saw scrambling to leave,
I don't think they'll ever forget this Christmas Eve.
It was never my intent to flash anyone,
I simply wanted a ham and cheese on a bun.

Never Go Back To What Was Never Found

Never go back to look for them,
those things you lost,
not just things, like your hair,
or a favorite pocket knife.

Remember 'Teddy Boys' ?
You were born too late
to wear the slim suited, drain pipes, 
velvet collared -
all that duck-assed brylcreemed cut,
so why keep looking for what was never you?

There was a time
when you were always au courante,
always abreast of yourself.
Billy the Kid had nothing on your swagger.
Oscar Wilde and Dorian Gray
packaged for eternity, 
Bogey and Becall - bundled,

but you kept going back
to look for what you missed
and so missed the train
to Dorking Surry,
and never met that girl.

Halftime March

Half Time March
David J Walker

And there I was

Half floating on top of 
Army barracks I am familiar with

Half running the gauntlet of a 
Hungry basic training camp

Half blowing Taps at night but 
The Flag won’t come down

Half standing in line for a 
Two-year-old movie I didn’t 
Like the first time

Half-naked and out of uniform
From the waist up 

Half-assed shine on my 
Combat boots

Halfway to the front 
When I heard the shooting stop

Halfway home when they 
Called me back 

Half asleep when I
Awake at my civilian home 

Half happy/Half sad
At the time past

Animal Tangible With a Cannibal

An Animal Tangible with a Cannibal 

knew an animal
we think can be tangible
with a cannibal 

what we said out loud
about things are always proud
to God have head bowed

heard that a bunch of
Indians who are half assed
were called semi holes

have called home a lodge
ran over in my garage
now need a massage

say it enough times
everyone will believe it
so say it again

Who the Hell Do You Think You Are

I’m a recovering Catholic 
drug fiend and addict,  
a drunk, a thief and ex-con, 
musician, writer,  half assed poet, and fighter, 
a drifter, failed husband and father, 

horrible dancer, an excellent cook, Atheist, well read and a scholar, 
quick tempered, dog person, sports fan, crack shot, I'm also an excellent driver 
a dreamer,  jokester, gambler,
and friendly
Known to be lazy, sometimes a liar 
Worked as a smuggler 
too old now to do time 
It's the reason that I've retired. 
 
JSB

Aint No Half Assed Love

Love is a lot like swimming. 
Some people dip their foot in 
before deciding if it’s okay, 
others just nose dive straight 
into the deep end. 
I am one of those reckless divers, 
barely remembering to take a breath
before I tumble in. 
I have never done anything half assed, 
especially drowning in your love. 
I hope I’m buried disheveled, 
loved 
and full of adventures passed.

A Brief Prologue To Doomsday

No more civility! For now, before that historic doom,
To fathomless, dark perdition let’s hurl their big-assed b.i.t.c.h.e.s.*
For such filthy creatures on earth there ought to be left no room.

These shameless global terrorists that in quest of dream riches
Have settled in the Middle East for almost a hundred years
Now with Heaven’s sure assistance we shall cast into ditches.

They ascribe to us their own name and the sleeping world that hears
Approves of their barefaced slaughters — regrettably — and terrors.
No more tolerance! Let’s show them what then in both hemispheres

Real terror is! Cows of the world do not see the grave errors
In the nuclear conventions. They have lost a dearest horse
But ignore the beast and look for its saddle. What peace-carers!

Arms are deemed bad but who on earth has ever exerted force
Against the red-handed butchers who possess them and use them?
No more delay! Mercy on them shall surely lead to remorse.

11.29.2020

* Mike Pompeo, Mike Pence, Donald Trump, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Arab petty puppets 


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