Altoona Poems


Premium MemberUntitled

there was a young man from Altoona
who went to the ocean to catch tuna
the boat lurched to starboard
he was flung overboard
and he met a shark that was out to catch humans
Categories: altoona, humorous,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberThe Ghosts of Altoona

Some daysI feel it's time to move and
live by the sea, especially when the ghosts of
Altoona are haunting me..
Many cities in Pa., so rich in history,

They were hey days in their time.
It's no mystery...
This once-booming railroad town
is still being visited by those now underground..
Home to the infamous Horse Shoe Curve, with
its one-way tunnel that will truly unnerve..
Many unsuspecting drivers attempted to navigate
and met their swift untimely fate...
At 17th Street, a circus train derailed. Again, many
lost their lives as the animals all bailed.
Just like a used tire that manufacturers retread,
some people that die by accident are unaware that they are dead.
Most days I just pray and ask them to kindly move on, for
the ghosts of Altoona, I wave my magic wand.
Categories: altoona, death,
Form: Light Verse


Premium MemberThe Fisherman's Catch and Release

There was once an old man from Altoona

   Who decided to cast for some tuna

      'Twas a mermaid he landed

         He sighed saying off-handed

            "How I wish I had caught her much soona!"


Oh!  How I would love to make her my bride

   But I'm old, grizzled and gray and, beside

      'Twould be my usual luck

         She'd take up with some young buck,

            So I will release her at next high tide

Entry for Tania Kitchin's "Two Sea Themed Limerick" Contest
(27 July 2019)
TOOK 3D PLACE IN THE CONTEST
Categories: altoona, fishing, humorous,
Form: Limerick

Premium MemberA

Arnold, an arrogant associate assistant at American Airlines at Altoona Airport, and Allen, an aspiring actuarial apprentice acquiesced after an aggressive, although adult altercation at Arby's,  Arnold's altruistic argument asserting alliteration as alternative art appropriate.
Categories: altoona, word play,
Form: Alliteration

Seal It Please

A lady once hailed from Altoona.
A man on a freight train had mooned her.
      She speeded away
      With just this to say,
"Cold air from a crack is a boomer!"
Categories: altoona, funny
Form: Limerick


Premium MemberA Fisherman's Tale

Once an old man from Altoona,
Decided to fish for some tuna.
His fortune was made,
When he caught a mermaid,
But he sighed, "How I wish it was soona!"

"If only I'd been a young buck,
When I had such marvelous luck,
I'd have made her my bride,
And kept her inside
A tank that I'd build on my truck!"

"But now that I'm grizzled and gray,
I guess in the ocean she'll stay.
I will, of course,
Sit and discourse,
On the trophy I cannot display!"

Written by my wife Vera Selena Hinshaw
© All Rights Reserved
Categories: altoona, funny
Form: Limerick
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