Advantages Poems


Out of Work and No Hors D'Oeuvre

Don't expect an hors d'ouervre when you're out of work, mate!
Blame that on politics or blame it on your fate.
However much you mutter,
from now on it's bread and butter.
Just pretend you're on a diet.
You'll be happy if you try it.
Don't think you're in a ditch
but take pity on the rich.
To them it doesn't matter
that poor health awaits the fatter.
Dear reader, be a mensch.
Don't criticize my French.
Categories: advantages, food, jobs, social,
Form: Burlesque

Premium MemberThe Advantages

T aught  to superior abilities
H elps  heighten
E xcellent  experience

A nd applied
D ifferences causing some to cite
V arious
A uthories on
N notable skills and
T enacious technique
A ngles and aims YOUR perception at
G enuinely
E gocentric 
S tandards
Categories: advantages, books, education, introspection, jealousy,
Form: Acrostic


Premium MemberDaylight Savings Advantages

DAYLIGHT SAVING
                                                  Advantages

                                         Advance clock one hour
                                       Undertake day’s endeavor
                                         Guest’s entertainment
                                      Darkness beckons engaging
                                   Less enchantment performance

By: Eve Roper 2/6/2015
Categories: advantages, night, work,
Form: Tanka

The Advantages of Alphamegamia

The Advantages of Alphamegamia 

By Elton Camp

Alphamegamia there’s much to recommend
So the right to practice it, I have to defend

An old codger, should we deny
The happiness that it can supply?

He must have a whole lot on the ball
To be able to arrange for that at all

It wards off greedy vultures when he’s gone
Plus, he didn’t spend his final years alone

The young fox finds it has advantages too
For, with pinching pennies, she is through

Clothes and jewels she will never lack 
And rides around in a brand new Cadillac

A valuable lesson she may have learned
Marry for money and it’ll be well earned
Categories: advantages, humor,
Form: Rhyme

Advantages of Smoking

There may be "Advantages" to smoking!
But, I can't think of any today!
It puts a great strain on your wallet,
but, it's really your lungs, that will pay!

Your clothes and breath will give you away!
They have that "Special" smell!
If you smoke in your car and your home,
they have that "smell" as well!

Young folks think, it's a sign of class,
and maturity, in a way.
Unfortunately, too late, they're gonna find
it takes their breathe away!

Yes, smoking, in time, will destroy your lungs!
But, you still could be all right!
You just, have to wear, an oxygen tank,
24/7 - all day and all night!

Eventually, you'll find it a chore, to walk
or go up and down the stair.
You must ride around on a scooter,
or maybe a nice wheelchair!

Why people smoke, is a mystery, for sure!
Since the redeeming features could be:
Cancer, Emphysema, Bronchitis,
and most likely, C.O.P.D.!

There is no law against, smoking,
and there is no "Advantage", that's true!
So, STOP, if you do - Don't start, if you don't!
The decision is up to you!

THINK ABOUT IT PEOPLE!
Categories: advantages, addiction, cancer, health,
Form: Rhyme


The Advantages of Being a Dog

The Advantages of Being a Dog

By Elton Camp

A dog never worries about what to wear
For he comes equipped with a coat of hair

Most anything he finds, he’s able to eat
His digestive enzymes with germs compete

If he feels sick and then barfs up his food
He can eat it again and not be thought rude

Fido scratches himself in embarrassing places
Yet nobody seeing it makes disgusted faces

When another dog comes to visit or to stay
He can sniff its behind and that’s okay

If he impregnates some other canine
Everyone thinks that it is just fine

A mutt doesn’t have to learn to read or write
Algebra factoring will not get him in a tight

He doesn’t worry about work or paying bills
To get a sporty new car gives him no thrills

Then no matter how bad his conduct may be
At death, from any fear of hellfire he is free

A dog’s life is one of privileges so great
That many humans would like to emulate
Categories: advantages, funny, dog, dog,
Form: Rhyme

Advantages Enjoyed By Adam and Eve

Advantages Enjoyed by Adam and Eve

By Elton Camp

It didn't take a whack to make them breathe
They were spared the pain of having to teethe

Since they appeared as adults in a flash
It wasn't necessary to endure diaper rash

And, for them, there wasn't even a hint
Of that annoying stuff called navel lint

Another advantage of theirs was because
Neither had to tolerate mothers-in-laws

Even though clothes they didn't wear
There was nobody around to stare

Political elections they didn't endure
Their leadership was clean and pure

Heart disease they needn't fear at all
A diet of fruit contains no cholesterol

Neither had to worry the other would flirt
None but those two had sprung from dirt

How foolish it was for the two to say
Our righteous God we chose to disobey
Categories: advantages, funny,
Form: Rhyme
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