If only you could hold my hand,
You'd likely feel and understand...
The pain way down deep inside,
The love my heart has been deprived...
My heart, my body and my soul,
Feels nothing more than deep dark coal...
In my most venerable state, I opened up my soul,
I gave you every hidden piece, I gave you all control.
I thought your ear was listening, a safe and gentle place,
But you took what I confided and threw it in my face.
As my confidant you knew the weight of what I bore,
Yet still you turned my trust to pain, my secrets out the door.
My heart aches from the knowledge that my safest place was lies,
The one I called my shelter sold me out before my eyes.
I'm laying in a pool of tears, no answer, no reply,
As humans we still feel the hurt, however hard we try.
How do I release this ache when no apology came?
How do I forgive the wound when you won't own the blame?
Will I ever trust again, will I dare to feel that free?
Or will this betrayal shadow every soul I let me see?
"What are you afraid of losing? When you own nothing in this world".
To cherish a flower yet to perish
To gaze upon the ways of life
As you slowly fade away
Tell me or better yet ask yourself
Why bother?
Conversation,Communication,Comprehension.
To start a topic and give suggestions
Discuss on concepts and break down steps
The assimilation of the other
But then nothing is equal
So why search for it?
Why bother involving
The ache on my lips
The constant itch in my eyes
The heavy swallows at night
A recurring routine
I believed if I said my mind and explained
Once, twice
I could be understood......
However I'm surrounded with translucent figures
With a clear conscience
A lot unsaid, my tired heart can't continue
And so I've a reached a state
My heart does ache.
My eyes would like to close a while;
bathe in dark lake
of mystic dreams and erstwhile
memories of images now opaque.
My tired soul
begs the keeper of the mind:
summon that golden oriole,
bid it fly to thoughts that I, purblind,
have sought but never recovered whole.
And in its beak
bring back from realms afar
the comfort I seek
from sacred leaf of deodar,
that trance-like visions I might eke.
O, soul be calm again,
Be-trembled frame be still.
O, heart your pulse restrain.
With bird-like impulse in weakness of will
it dips its steely beak into my vein.
With the current ai rush..Smart metres smart phones.' and much other such,
I reciprocate, in major distain at the loss
Of independant cognition
To me it can be the very nadir
And creativity crush? Depends
On your direction? Or your take
At this time of writing for me its
All one big ( smart-ache !)
You smiled for the world, but your eyes carried the weight of unopened doors.
I knew your silence before you ever spoke.It had a heartbeat, slow and tired, asking for somewhere safe.
Come sit beside me. Lay your burdens here.
You don't have to hide the hurt I can see it without you saying a word.
Your smile is tired. Your heart is heavy. You've been strong for far too long.
I am not here to mend what life has broken.Some fractures become part of us,like rivers carving stone.
You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to pretend. You only have to breathe.
Some wounds don't disappear. They simply need a quiet place to rest.
Stay as long as you need.
If tears come, let them fall.
If silence comes, let it stay.
Sometimes healing begins with one person who says,
"I see your pain, and you don't have to carry it alone." I taste your truth.
The grief with no funeral.The apology never spoken.The child still waiting to be chosen.
The soul was never meant to survive alone. For this moment,
I am the asylum of your ache.
"Verses in the Ash,"
is where my soul was born.
Where hot coals singed me,
as ashes covered my tiny body.
My soul was,
"Trapped in Your Pulse."
This body has me trapped,
as a helpless baby.
"I am the asylum of your ache,"
in time as it goes by so slowly.
"I taste your truth,"
the truth of life is bitter.
"Where orchids dream,"
is a place I wish I could live.
A place away from the hot ash and pain,
in a place of beauty with pretty orchids.
The pen is harder to hold now
My head yearns to be slammed into a wall
Maybe then I will finally feel pain
Other than the emptiness
Swallowing me whole
The way I feel God isn't really on my side
abandoned, alone
Like a person damned to be astray
Do I deserve this
Can I feel something else
Other than pity , lost hopes and regret .
I work hard
For years
Yet you all take it away
And I am alone
To deal with the part of me
Which is now gone
It breaks my heart
Leaves it to rot in the core
I can't do this anymore
Being the best and still getting ignored
I can't lie to my own face
"Maybe this was destiny"
No
This was fate making a fickle face
It is so easy
Being happy for yourself when the hard work pays off
What about the rest of us
We try and try
Never to conquer
And the desolation and torment
Don't leave us alone
Even in our dreams, dear.
Now at the end
I am back to square one
Do I start again
And wait for destiny
To play a new cruel game
Flicks and rolls,
It works in a wondrous way
Though some wish it would not obey
as the brain slowly tolls.
I enjoy how the lines flow
like they’re sought in the sky afar,
and though they leave the soul ajar,
it pays off what I owe.
As it aches slow and decadent
and helps litter my anatomy,
this is not a regret to me
as my pains are now evident.
Controlled by will
and yet none to be found
therefore no need to ground
what can be perfectly still.
The joint is my lover,
ligaments let the blood flow,
hidden and more on show,
all will be worn and washed over.
I have worked myself young,
creeks, grinds with naivety
skint with offers for prosperity,
so my wrist is what i have brung.
When you put on your coat
and light a smoke
on the front stoop, December
gusts tear into you. But
that drag rides all the way
down as you shut your lids.
A hat like your dad
wore when he thrummed
his bass at the clubs, skitters
down the street, no one
to chase and bring it back.
For the first time you notice
a distant train bellowing
like a bull past consolation.
A man in his 20’s wanders
under a streetlamp, snuffling
now unmistakable. You offer
your handkerchief
but the wind is fierce
and deafening. The night enfolds
him like an endless black
curtain. You barely make
out the whimper you follow
for blocks, until you find
a spaniel too afflicted
to stand. Why is tonight
different? Saturday or Wednesday
you’d have returned home.
But now, at 10:37, something
rough bruises your chest.
You remove your jacket
and wrap him delicately, singing
in a whisper. You bend
to kiss his sloppy snout.
Now something turns
your bones to light.
Deep ache in my heart lies
A sorrowful shade spreads in all nooks of my room
Hot tears rise
The sun shines bright
Still my life is filled with deep gloom
Upright,
My plight
Vouchsafed to doom`s
Blight
Deep ache in my heart lies
Still my life is filled with deep gloom
Blight
Warm hands once near
Cold evening air
Memory lingers
I feel you there
New love--my heart is blazing
The very touch of my skin is electric
I own all the worlds
I fly thru the starry skies
The stars slip through my fingers
as I clasp them to my heart
then dance with the clouds
it's magic to be in love
but does magic last
or is it only the fading memory
of our kiss
that lingers in the night air
now doubt has crept in
and shadows my joy
do you feel this love
or am I but a moment in time's journey
To feel like an undefinably rare gem
and then crash
with a sad realization
you may be like the others
to spin a daydream with but a single kiss
how grasping is that
I must remember daydreams and magic lands
are childish wishes we had to leave behind
Beauty beheld
in pupils
irises
expanding Spirit’s filaments
mind
deciphers
delicate
impressions
flowering nerve shiverings
heart petals unwrinkle exposing tender core
temporarily holds what is
to falter, fade
then dissipate
senses alert in
perceptual observation
bows gratitude
personality evaporates
as Beauty returns
into Source’s palms
we
ache
for
a raw rare repeat ~
__________________
Placed 7th : Brian Strand Premier Contest
On Beauty : Feb. 26
your great-grandmother’s toothache was easily fixed
with lovely cocaine tooth drops, which now are probably nixed.
a predecessor to Novocain, a practice back in the day
many children had to have it, it took pain away
Marvelously fast-acting cocaine tooth drops cost a whole fifteen cents
You could get them over the counter sold by druggist McVents
It might sound odd now, but it was a common practice in 1818.
And your gums felt great afterwards, truly tingly and clean.
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