Humorous 3Rd Grade Poems

Scrounging for boogers wrought my damn nostrils nearly to bust 

Warning: The following material no worse than getting cooties. I remember them way back in...

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If you think Batman is tough, you should meet his Gran.
She is nail-tough, agreed Leroy, Tony, Jack and Stan.
You can’t get anything past her, she...

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Spouse cannot forget mine suppressed flatulence upon our first date

While yours truly sat here 
at the desk housing MacBook Pro,
pondering his next idée fixe apropos
for...

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there was a boy named Cory
one night he claimed great glory
	his moniker came
	he arose to fame
his snoring laudatory...

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*****



                        ...

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Chinese Dave is not Chinese, he just likes Chinese food,
He’ll eat it till his tummy bursts whene’er he’s in the mood.
He scoffs Chow Mein and...

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Mrs. Claus kept warning Santa that this day might come.
But he pooh poohed it, and thought surely not, surely not.
Today he balked as he stared...

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Santa was a bird watcher
Until they turned his own ideas on him
Now they are flying in to investigate
To ask him questions.

Robins, wrens, sparrows,
Cardinals, blue jay,...

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Empathetic Pet Loving Santa was overrun by the best of pets.
There were puppies and kitties, and hamsters who made bets.
We were hesitant to visit because...

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No one knows the rubble I’ve seen.
Nobody knows but DEEEshus.
I stop washing dishes and turn around.
My four-year-old is belting this out with gusto.

These dishes?
She nods.
Where...

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It was a normal Tuesday in Kansas until a quarter to two
A Bengal cat came down on my head, it had big eyes of blue....

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annoying rooster crows at four
maniacal or just plain stupid?
it is the afternoon, genius.

yes, I am the neighbor shouting at the rooster.
So who is the bright...

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You will love fourth grade I was told by everyone 
It is learning multiplication, algebra, truly much fun.
Do not get on the bad side though...

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Ooohhhhh Here we are at the premier for the stars!
Look at the glamour, the wraps, the gowns, the elegant cars!
Kermie, can you please stay in...

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Come play mumbo jumbo mumblety peg,
To see who goes first, we spin a raw egg.
Come be a sport.
Free beer by the quart.
We’ll let you keep...

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