What On Earth Is This

I'm all swirled up whilst sat so still Bothered by blusters of half formed thoughts Tumultuous and treading carefully With myself Who I vowed to be kind to Maybe adrenaline courses about Attacking little hillocks Of troubles with Highway Man demands of Flight, fight, freeze or fawn The new version of the tale For the anxious era I let my thoughts drift As if in a horse drawn carriage Feeling ladylike and Fine and dandy But I know this route Has the dreaded Dick Turpin wannabe Hiding along it I need to change course or have a plan for when he does his Adam Ant impression (or was it the other way round?) I haven't got any ideas But I keep thinking of the expression 'kick him in the goolies!' How offensive brain Don't you know I'm a lady? I need another plan Trundle trundle trundle The wheels go round Kicking up stones My velvet seat allowing just enough jolts to remind me of plan requirements So, we have Plan A (no we don't brain, that's inappropriate) That's no plan then, that helped brain now I've got more adrenaline Yes, I know about fawn but I'm not choosing one of the dastardly choices I'm not sure this is a poem, it's just me wiggling my feet and writing down my inner monologue Right - let's scope this out Autopilot engaged Vicious circle chicanery 'Deranged comes to mind' Thanks again brain, not helpful Oh, you meant act weird? Yeah, tried it. Short term measure that, I need a long term plan Here's the short list: Get a sandwich Forget about it It's a tomorrow issue I'll just climb out of the carriage and walk back That's not a great idea Am I dealing with the adrenaline or all the world's current and potential problems? If it's just the adrenaline then the sandwich is a brilliant idea I possibly also need to remember there isn't a neat poetic line to fix all the world's current and potential problems True. What should I have on my sandwich? Crisps. Brain, it's people like you that get me into scrapes like this. Salt and vinegar? Deal. May as well share it now for that Adam Ant line and you never know, a crisp sandwich might solve someone else's problems too