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Untold agony

While my happiness hawls in a dark cave of self-doubt, I smile. Burying my brain cells in the grave of immense fear, I speak. While my dreams burn in the dreary path of desolation, I suffer to sleep. Shedding rivers of blood enough to fill the midnight ocean, I walk. I welcome each morning with a hammering heart. I extend warm handshakes with cold hands. I dance to the looney tunes with quivering feet. I share my bold thoughts with frozen blood in my veins. That day when I gave a presentation, I received applause and appreciation Everyone called me a brave heart, But deep inside, I remained a cadaver in graveyard. That day when I first met your family, I broke the ice with a soothing melody Everyone in the abode surmised me as chirpy My chest alone knows the pain it endured in that pseudo joyful journey. When you saw me strong, I was undeniably weak inside. When you saw me smile, you saw me who wasn't at all there. When the sweetness of my song bloomed your heart, bile was burning the walls of my throat. When you were witnessing my collar lifting moment , I was actually stopping my collar bones from breaking. I wish to wake up to the tick of alarm clock but wake up to the thump of my pounding heart. I wish to hug the dreams in the deep night's sleep but I fall prey to the paws of nightmares. My eye lens capture a non-existing image My brain maps the present to a buried past My heart fears a fictitious occurance My body absconds into an unknown destination. You feel I'm insane But I'm enduring excruciating pain No! No, I'm not overplaying, And no, I'm not at all shamming I feel I need not be sorry for what I am Because I'm riding above the clouds to do my best in this lifespan.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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Date: 5/13/2020 1:54:00 PM
I absolutely love this poem Swetha and applaud you for its skilled and talented blending of much felt emotion. Hope you are well my friend, missed you. Blessings,Jennifer.
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Date: 2/24/2020 10:04:00 AM
I know you so well Swegha! Your writing is so clear. Congratulations on being chosen for this.
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Date: 2/3/2020 4:12:00 AM
Self-doubt, fear and desolation..We are all in our self made prisons lamenting on past memories and worrying on our vivid imaginations.. Wonderfully depicted the agony inside.. You are very talented..
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Swetha Vangaveti
Date: 2/3/2020 7:41:00 AM
Thanks a lot Jenish :)
Date: 2/2/2020 4:32:00 PM
a personal write full of angst, we are always misunderstood, but it hurts the most when it is someone close to us.. great poem.
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Swetha Vangaveti
Date: 2/3/2020 7:41:00 AM
True my friend :(
Date: 1/31/2020 2:54:00 PM
- Skilled, important and beautifully written ... with a soothing melody, Swetha :) - Have a lovely weekend :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Swetha Vangaveti
Date: 2/3/2020 7:44:00 AM
Thanks Anne. :)
Date: 1/31/2020 7:18:00 AM
The children I see who are throwing things and breaking things are not as worrisome as the ones who will not respond, make eye contact or trust me in any way. This poem is so accurate!
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Swetha Vangaveti
Date: 2/3/2020 7:51:00 AM
You got the nerve of it Caren :)
Date: 1/30/2020 2:25:00 PM
Profound and impressive writing . Very insightful with inspiring messages dear, Swetha
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Swetha Vangaveti
Date: 2/3/2020 7:44:00 AM
Thanks Demetrios :)
Date: 1/30/2020 1:11:00 PM
All the agonies and fears, poetry would heal and give you wings to soar above the clouds! Pleased to read your work, Swetha.. Best regards and blessings.
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Swetha Vangaveti
Date: 2/3/2020 7:40:00 AM
The healer poetry. Have a great day Besma :)
Date: 1/29/2020 8:40:00 AM
The mind can make you believe anything.... Make it believe happiness. Let nothing else enter your thoughts. The brain is like an old vinyl record: the more you think something, the deeper the groves become, making it more and more difficult to get out of the rut. This is a very honest, and well crafted poem. Heart wrenching!
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Swetha Vangaveti
Date: 2/3/2020 7:39:00 AM
Enlightening words Joe. Yes!! Everything is in the mind.:)
Date: 1/29/2020 5:47:00 AM
Life throws many obstacles our way and as the saying goes, sink or swim, But not all are strong and we should always offer a helping hand. Well written Swdtha. Tom
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Swetha Vangaveti
Date: 2/3/2020 7:39:00 AM
Truly said Tom :)