Two English Sonnets - With Apologies To Shakespeare

WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN Jim’s fallen head over heels for a girl, He’s forgotten his mates; they’re in limbo One whiff of her scent, his head’s in a whirl But why did he choose Sue THAT blonde bimbo? Like a shadow they are never apart Stuck together tightly with superglue This bleached blonde airhead has stolen his heart Jim bade all his old friends a fond adieu Every single day they are together Still they only have eyes for each other Arms wrapped around her, true love forever Jim wears jumpers knitted by his lover! On bended knee Jim gives Sue a huge ring He splashed all his cash to buy her some bling WHEN A WOMAN LOVES A MAN Sue won’t hear a bad word about her Jim, with rose coloured glasses, Sue is blinkered He lets out huge farts, but Sue will just grin She just giggles and calls him a stinkard! Jim snores like a steam train, he never halts Sue turns over and pulls up the covers She totally ignores all of Jim’s faults They’re besotted since they became lovers Jim’s mates pity him; he’s under the thumb With a ring on her finger Sue’s smiling They are contented and Jim’s never glum Sue adores him; she thinks he’s beguiling Forever in love through good times and bad Sue chose Jim because he looks like her dad! Two English Sonnets Contest Sponsored by Mark Massey Two Sonnets written with my sincere apologies to the Bard! Checked with how many syllables 10 per line 12~14~16
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

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White Avatar
January 8, 2017 at 8:17 AM
Coming back with congratulations for you,Jan... HUGS :)
Allison Avatar
January 8, 2017 at 8:19 AM
I'm so glad I took the plunge and put them in the contest as I shy away from writing this form:-) hugs Jan xx
Godwin Avatar
December 17, 2016 at 8:16 PM
I checked and saw nothing amiss, dear one, plus I read two sonnets with great appreciation for their humor and off-handed poetic lines. I don't know what to do with this contest, but your imagination did not let you or your readers down. I didn't even see the 'gas' coming, and with you I always should! HA CayCay
Allison Avatar
December 18, 2016 at 8:02 AM
Ha Ha ... I really should steer clear from mentioning farting in my poems but these things tend to have a habit of slipping out lol:-) hugs jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
December 16, 2016 at 8:50 PM
the meter might be off in some parts, but you did a VERY creative and original take on this difficult theme, Jan. I applaud you for taking a topic not so fun to do and making it really REAL. SEVEN cu
Allison Avatar
December 17, 2016 at 4:20 PM
Thanks Andrea, I struggle with this form I just hope the sponsor likes humour:-) hugs jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
December 16, 2016 at 8:50 PM
My cat made the CU part up here by the computer with me. haha. Isn't that funny. My cat wants to see you!!!
Allison Avatar
December 17, 2016 at 4:21 PM
ha ha ha I guess I better say a big hello to 'Andrea's pussy' lol:-) hugs Jan xxx
Vinson Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 10:23 AM
No worries, Jan. : ) Shakespeare - The Comedy of Errors: "A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind, Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind." (Better for someone to lie to you than to fart near you.)
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 10:43 AM
ha ha ha thanks for breezing in with your comment Doug I feel better about my poem now lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Vinson Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 10:26 AM
King Lear: "Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks!" Hahahahhaaa
Rodrigues Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 9:55 AM
I'd stay this is a stinker...lol! But really, I adore the clumsy duo! I wish them well, and you in this sonnetsational contest! 7 from me.
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 10:43 AM
aww thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx
La France Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 9:01 AM
Jan your sonnets are so fun and delightful best of luck in the contest ~
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 10:43 AM
Thanks so much Constance:-) hugs Jan xx
Green Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 6:43 AM
Ha, sounds like she got the raw end in this deal but she did get a ring. : ) Funny Jan, it is a poem that makes the reader forget he or she is reading because it seems so real and genuine and honest and stinky. :) All kidding aside, this was fantastic. It really seems like something that could have and probably has happened. Shakespeare is smiling right now.
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 6:48 AM
He's probably turning in his plot at a sonnet mentioning the passing of wind lol:-) I shy away from writing this form but when i got inspired it just flowed with humour. I'm not sure what Mark will think of it lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Andresen Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 5:31 AM
- You impress me, Jan .... two really gorgeous sonnet - A 7 X 2 ! - Good luck in the contest - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 5:39 AM
They are fun Anne Lise I am not sure if it will float Mark's boat but I sure had fun on the theme lol:-) hugs Jan xx
White Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 4:13 AM
Love 'em Jan, and what Frederic says: what the heck, go for it girl ;)
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 4:45 AM
I struggle with the form so thought I would go for humour - why not funny sonnets eh lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Pett Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 3:24 AM
Really enjoyed these well written sonnets Jan, good luck in contest.
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 3:43 AM
Thanks Roy they may be a little different to the more traditional romantic sonnets but I had fun:-) hugs Jan xx
Kannan Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 2:54 AM
Wow... Two great sonnets... Thank you for sharing... I loved it... A big 7...
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 3:23 AM
Thanks Supraja:-) hugs Jan xx
Parker Avatar
December 13, 2016 at 10:17 PM
these are really funny and well done so what the heck... I enjoyed them ...good luck
Allison Avatar
December 14, 2016 at 3:20 AM
I struggle with writing this form Frederic so just thought I would have fun :-) hugs Jan xx
Smith Avatar
December 13, 2016 at 7:27 PM
Glad it wasn't Tim...really great Jan...cant wait to read your next 9 posts
Allison Avatar
December 13, 2016 at 7:29 PM
ha ha ha I WILL change it to Tim if you don't behave. Gee it took ages to write this - just one poem a day and one account is enough for me lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Y. Avatar
December 13, 2016 at 7:17 PM
WoW! Jan, you have penned some great Sonnets. I enjoyed the different perspectives. I liked the "realness" vibe that this poem gives. The touch of humor is so you. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. A without a doubt seven:-) Alexis
Allison Avatar
December 13, 2016 at 7:17 PM
I'm not sure it's what the sponsor is after so I will graciously accept an N/A but I did have fun with this tongue in cheek poem lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Wolf Avatar
December 13, 2016 at 7:12 PM
You have done an exceptional job, Jan! And funny to boot! Well done!
Allison Avatar
December 13, 2016 at 7:18 PM
Thanks Rick I had fun here - am not sure if Mark will appreciate humour though lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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