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To bloom in Thee II: Onyx Rose in Bloom

Shall I compare thee to an onyx rose? Too dark for day, too ripe, yet not to rot— Thou bloom’st where sacred streamlets gently flow, Where dryads sigh and phantoms sing distraught. Twin serpents writhe along thy moonlit spine, Their glistened tongues sing out a breathless psalm; Your breath the zephyr through the cypress pine, A storm of touch disguised in dusk and balm. No mortal flesh could hold such fierce delight, No altar bear such ecstasy and sin. I offer all and vow this lustful night To enter where no soul has ever been. O pagan muse with velvet in thy tread— I drink thy night, and rise in thee instead.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2025




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Date: 5/27/2025 6:48:00 AM
Ah sis this is so beautiful! I usually am nor a fan of archaic words, but you used it so very well here in such an impressive manner! I cant help but admire the rhymes and also the cadence and how youv written so many lines here like “Twin serpents writhe along thy moonlit spine, Their glistened tongues sing out a breathless psalm; Your breath the zephyr through the cypress pine,” whoa how powerful and exquisite and gothic is your diction! I think your onyx rose will agree with me that this is impeccable! Fave for me!
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Billie Jama
Date: 5/27/2025 8:25:00 AM
Thank you. You're detailed feedback is always appreciated.
Date: 5/27/2025 6:39:00 AM
No two flowers can be compared, whether made of onyx or velvet. What makes us sing praises to love are the words that some would hold precious, and yet some would deny.
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Billie Jama
Date: 5/27/2025 8:26:00 AM
Well said Lin. Thank you kindly

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry