Notes About The Poem

A poem exploring PTSD

For Craig Cornish's The unsupervised stop sign contest.

 

The Unsupervised Stop Sign

Blazing sun stuns my eyes, sunglasses offer no respite.
Clammy hands tremble, as the steering wheel begins vibrating.
Arsenic heat suffocates, wrapping its hands around my neck.
Parched lips beg to hydrate, 
but 'Jeptha Creed' increases the intensity.
Thunder rumbles through my body,
as lightning strikes in 'desert storm' flashbacks -
all I see is red flags, red lights and red rage.

Feet seem cemented trying to find the break,
then stumble trying to regain control.
Dazed thoughts slowly crumble, searching for green to go.

Metal medley of machine guns, bloodshot,
go bang, bang, bang, as all around begins to fall down.
Grenades and strident screams reverberate like bombastic echoes,
over and over again, boom, boom, boom,
like a broken record with deep inherited scratches,
resembling resurfacing scars, left behind from mangled wounds.

Head is spinning like a bike wheel, spasms are speeding, unable to halt.

I scream at graphic memories of fallen comrades,
cursing, why I was the last man standing.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

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Empress Avatar
October 29, 2023 at 10:34 PM
Back with congratulations! Well deserved win!
Puddifoot Avatar
October 29, 2023 at 2:50 PM
excellent piece, draws the reader into the trauma..strong opening "blazing sun stuns my eyes" - congrats on your win in the contest
Jones Avatar
October 29, 2023 at 2:19 PM
Congratulations on a well deserved win!
Goldsmith Avatar
October 29, 2023 at 8:26 AM
Congratulations on your win. A powerful/amazing~write/story. It is so sad but so true. Be Blessed........
Hamilton Avatar
October 29, 2023 at 8:15 AM
This is one powerful write and worthy of a top win. It reminds me of what neighbours said about the man who killed all those people in Maine USA. Apparently he was a soldier that suffered ptsd like you described here, and he got no help, which no doubt was a contributing factor in the tragedy.
Manley Avatar
October 28, 2023 at 1:21 AM
Because we needed you,Thats why. CPTSD here, ( but you know this) I find if I shake up the environment the moment passes. New smell, sound, I keep my mind busy with song if I worry I will replay. I am at the stage of spontaneous crying, but only with safe people. Very few have ever seen me cry. Like you, its because they needed me.
Rodrigues Avatar
October 26, 2023 at 8:29 PM
Anxiety appears! I can’t imagine going through PTSD due to war. You captured it well!
Rose Avatar
October 26, 2023 at 1:58 PM
I’m holding back tears… so real. Can only begin to imagine
La France Avatar
October 26, 2023 at 1:51 PM
Silent, LOVE IT, excellent writing, blessings
Rose  Avatar
October 25, 2023 at 6:27 PM
wow I believe you pulled all the stop signs here S O, a beauty of a poem, full of feeling, gl in the contest dear friend
Poet Avatar
October 25, 2023 at 4:01 PM
Dear Silent One, You've expertly combined a deeply moving concept into this contest challenge. Your piece eloquently depicts the long-term consequences of rivalry. The last lines summarize the essence of your statement. Your detailed descriptions, sincere feelings, and realistic depiction of the turmoil and clamor of combat flawlessly blend to describe the story of a tortured human who questions the point behind it all.
Pandit Avatar
October 25, 2023 at 2:42 PM
Very powerful subject you weaved in this contest prompt, SO. The tragic effects of war never really dissipate, as you so well illustrate. The ending lines spell the essence of your theme.
Kauffman Avatar
October 25, 2023 at 11:10 AM
So powerful, SO. Everything - images, emotion, sights and sounds of battle - work perfectly to create this story of a tortured soul in the throes of "why!" I am sure Craig will love this! I think you have winner, here. Blessings!
Rodgers Avatar
October 25, 2023 at 11:00 AM
Your poem is very well-written and evocative. You use vivid imagery and sensory details to create a powerful and realistic depiction of the experience of war. The poem is also deeply emotional, conveying the feelings of fear, rage, and trauma that are often associated with combat. Well Written!
Hind Avatar
October 25, 2023 at 10:37 AM
Amazing and heavy stuff, Silent One. Every line was perfect and raw. I am overwhelmed!
Empress Avatar
October 24, 2023 at 11:54 PM
Uff, i heard my only hope of winning this contest flee from my sight as i read this winning brilliant deep take! Whoa! Where do i start praising this! I see how an individual that has been in a war zone fighting in the battlefield, how they are left with so many flashbacks, and questions, in other words PTSD! And i cant help but be in awe of how well you’ve captured it all and delivered it in such a creative manner using imagery, metaphors and alliterations all so very eloquently! The opening
Empress Avatar
October 24, 2023 at 11:57 PM
Depicts so well panic attacks, and i love also the lines “ Thunder rumbles through my body, as lightning strikes in 'desert storm' flashbacks -“ whoa! Soul hitting and so powerful! “ resembling resurfacing scars, left behind from mangled wounds.” Thats just beyond brilliant how you’ve phrased that, so detailed descriptions! I think also in any other situation too ones that go through panic attacks too do feel this way, this is a very different and moving write! One of the most unique takes for this contest! Im sure craig will love this! Goodluck!
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