Eileen Manassian Poet Free verse

The Shroud

I see it
The shroud
Hovering above me
Before I saw its gauzy whiteness
I felt it presence
Hanging there
Now…. I see it
As it descends
And I close my eyes
And lie still
Unable to run away
Or to move
As unseen hands
Enshroud me
Layer upon layer
Wrapped around my soul
Immobilizing my thoughts
My feelings
My joys
And my dreams
My desires

Silence
I’m enveloped in the silence
The only sound
Is a requiem for the dead
That plays in my head
As I lay entombed in my room
No point in struggling
My arms feel like lead
My emotions dead
I wait….

I wait…
For unseen hands
To free me
Again
I don’t know how long it will take
This time…. 
A few hours
A day
A week
I am helpless
The shroud
Embracing my nakedness
Feigning protection
And love
And comfort
Lulling me to sleep
And yet I know
It is sinister
Sapping my strength
And vitality
Whispering lies
As it caresses me
And squeezes me ever tighter
“Better to stay in my embrace
The world out there is cruel
Unkind
Unloving
Here…here enveloped in me
No need to worry
To struggle
To try
To dream
Just lie back into my sweet nothingness.”

Tears wet the part of the shroud
Lying against my face
This shroud named depression
That is claiming my life
Slowly..but surely
I exhale
Wondering if it is my last breath
Wondering if they will miss me
Longing to be free
Yet feeling secure
Life IS too difficult…it’s true
Too much pain
Perhaps if I just close my eyes
And stop breathing
It will all go away
And my shroud will be
My forever covering...

Eileen Manassian Ghali

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Richard D Seal March 19, 2013 at 1:04 PM oooooooo Eileen, promise you'll never give up, wonderful piece this is. And besides, what will I do without my Agony Aunt. lol Take care, Regards Richard Eileen Manassian March 21, 2013 at 12:20 PM Well....I think your agony aunt will be here for a while yet...Not planning to check out anytime soon! ;) Take care!

Donna Jones March 17, 2013 at 9:42 PM Sad but good Eileen, . Cheer up...go find a child, take them to the park and feel like a kid again...its wonderful.....Donna Eileen Manassian March 18, 2013 at 12:48 PM :) Oh Donna....I'm the eternal kid myself! Hubby keeps reminding me of my age...and says..."You aren't a teenager anymore!" I'm never going to grow up...but perhaps I need to revert back to childhood and not the teens! ;)

Richard Lamoureux March 17, 2013 at 5:38 PM At times I feel depression wrapping it's cold hands around my throat and sucking the happiness from my breath. My world turns to gray and that's when I start doing opposites. I smile though I'm sad spend time with people when I want to be alone, write when I feel no inspiration to write. Before I know it I reboot my brain and my spirits start to lift. Happy or sad neither condition is permanent. Eileen Manassian March 18, 2013 at 12:50 PM SO TRUE, Richard. I know you've been there having read your poem...In the Gray. Yes...I'm glad you've found ways to deal with it. All I seem able to do is write....maybe degrees differ. Thanks for the reminder that "this too shall pass!" Hugs

Ilene Bauer March 17, 2013 at 4:04 PM wow! so sad, but beautiful. hope this isn't how you're really feeling... Eileen Manassian March 17, 2013 at 4:09 PM To be honest with you, Ilene.....it comes and goes. :( I need to live with this reality. Thanks for the post! Hugs!

Christine Phillips March 17, 2013 at 12:11 AM Hi, Eileen This is a nice poem. Keep on writing Eileen Manassian March 17, 2013 at 12:42 PM Thanks, Christine. I intend to! If I stop writing...I might as well stop breathing!