Home » Poems » Jan Allison » The Proposal

Jan Allison | + Follow Poet |

The Proposal

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Jan Allison.

On bended knee, you gently take my hand; asking me softly, will I be your wife. My answer, I hope you will understand but I am not able to share your life. I cannot accept your engagement band - the rejection stabs your heart like a knife We’re just acting as part of a school play… perhaps I’ll marry you for real one day! Real counted as 1 syllable as per soup counter not 2 as per how many syllables Ottava rima Contest Sponsored by Janis Thompson 06-09-17

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 7/12/2017 2:12:00 AM

What a terrific ending to this sweet poem Jan. Congratulations on your win! : )

Jan Allison
Date: 7/25/2017 7:26:00 PM

thanks Connie:-) hugs Jan xx

Janis Thompson

Date: 7/4/2017 8:31:00 PM

A cute, welcome addition to the winner's list. Is he hubby now? You know we write about our lives. Congratulations.

Jan Allison
Date: 7/5/2017 2:52:00 AM

No it's not based on a real life experience for me!:-)I met my hubby when we were both volunteers fort a charity called 'Radio Lollipop' which was based in Children's hospitals in the UK hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 7/4/2017 7:22:00 PM

lovely poem, Jan ,congratulations on your win ~*

Jan Allison
Date: 7/4/2017 7:24:00 PM

Thanks Eve I was delighted to be on the winner's list:-) hugs Jan xx

Daniel Turner

Date: 7/4/2017 4:18:00 PM

Rejection is everyone's worst fear in a relationship. Great ottava rima, Jan. Congratulations on making the short list of winners:)

Jan Allison
Date: 7/4/2017 5:01:00 PM

Thanks DT I was delighted to be on the list:-) hugs jan xx

Janice Canerdy

Date: 7/4/2017 3:26:00 PM

I really like this one. Congrats on your win, Jan! Janice

Jan Allison
Date: 7/4/2017 3:46:00 PM

Thanks Janice I was delighted to be on your list:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/11/2017 6:53:00 PM

oh this was so cute, Jan. I hope seeing mine as a story inspired you to do this. you told me you could understand it better by my example.It's really not such a hard form as you have shown us here! (the idiot syllable counters. I sure hope she is not going by those things)

Jan Allison
Date: 6/12/2017 11:30:00 AM

Thanks Andrea I do find it easy if I see a GREAT example to follow:-)I hope the sponsor likes it:-) hugs Jan xx

Eric Boddie

Date: 6/10/2017 2:26:00 PM

on bended knee i will say....i didnt want to marry anyway....i was just trying to get some....my proposal is indecent but if you come....you are sure to come again....because i am a freak until the end....lmao....i couldnt help it jan but rejection is just funny to me....only the lame ones cant handle it....my motto is always "next"....lol

Eric Boddie
Date: 6/10/2017 11:56:00 PM

not love em and leave em jan....just enough confidence to move on....and believe it or not, i am 7 years celibate....just waiting on God To Send her to me....no one knows drama how i know it....lol....but i honestly only want to be with 1 other "lady" for the rest of my Life....;)

Jan Allison
Date: 6/10/2017 2:45:00 PM

lol Eric your comment made me smile - love em and leave them eh !!! Just be careful and make sure you call all your ladies 'darling' lol:-) hugs jan xx

Jean Murray

Date: 6/10/2017 7:52:00 AM

What a lovely story of love postponed.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/10/2017 7:53:00 AM

Thanks Jean I hope Janis likes it:-) hugs Jan xx

John Lawless

Date: 6/10/2017 7:24:00 AM

Romeo----OH Romeo......cut that out...

Jan Allison
Date: 6/10/2017 7:37:00 AM

lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Ravi Sathasivam

Date: 6/10/2017 5:39:00 AM

Excellent. Very creative write. Enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing it.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/10/2017 7:38:00 AM

Thanks Ravi its my first attempt at this form:-) hugs Jan xx

Arturo Michael

Date: 6/9/2017 9:43:00 PM

It's just a school play you say and perhaps you will marry me one day Although I'd prefer it be a little longer For my love for you can never be stronger... Nice my friend ... I like it,

Jan Allison
Date: 6/10/2017 4:33:00 AM

Thanks Arturo:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 6/9/2017 7:46:00 PM

Excellent, Jan! Says a lot. She knows her mind. She's not ready. She will not just go with the flow. Sounds like she's dated him in school, and her instruction taught her of greater things. Perhaps, later, but not now, bub. Put that ring away :)

Jan Allison
Date: 6/10/2017 4:34:00 AM

Thanks Kim:-) I hope Janis likes it I've never written this form before:-) hugs Jan xx

Heidi Sands

Date: 6/9/2017 6:19:00 PM

This one is creative Jan ! I like the surprise :)

Jan Allison
Date: 6/10/2017 4:34:00 AM

Thanks Heidi it is my first attempt at this form:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 6/9/2017 1:10:00 PM

Love it and a perfect twist

Jan Allison
Date: 6/9/2017 1:16:00 PM

Thanks Tim I have never written this form but was inspired by Lin's beautiful rose poem:-) hugs jan xx