Darren White Poet Dramatic Monologue

Notes About The Poem

The Mailman

Beware the dog they said, I only brought the mail
(the iron mailbox stands inside a gate with locks)
Had to extend my arm to reach that wretched box
It was too far, the letter fell, an epic fail.
You say: just enter, wussie,  grab that envelope?
Have you considered one huge dog to sit and wait
blood-hungry for that single moment at the gate?
My nerves just failed me this time, could no longer cope
Can't you imagine my distress when that black beast
Jumped out the open door (just see him leap at me)
Pity my scarred and bloodied face and hide your glee
I tripped and fell, oh wounded pride, my clothes all creased 
You're mocking me! Stop laughing, wipe your tears away!
I think dog owners need to keep the beasts indoors
Or call them back by yelling: BELLO, STAY, with force!
For now I lick my wounds, give me my drink, I'll pay.

***

June 10, 2017 
Copyright © Darren White

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Harshath Vidheya July 18, 2017 at 4:07 AM Very Funny. It Lightened my Mood. :) Darren White July 18, 2017 at 5:58 AM I am glad you like it :)

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart June 30, 2017 at 7:05 AM Giggles ;) Darren White July 18, 2017 at 5:58 AM Giggles back!

Old Buck June 27, 2017 at 12:45 PM Darren: A roller coaster of laughter and tears. Well done. I'm just an old rhymer so much of what I'd read was beyond my understanding. This was "right on". Thanks for sharing those words with all of us on the soup. Keep them coming. oldbuck Darren White June 28, 2017 at 5:36 AM Thank you so much for this wonderful comment! I hopefully will write for a long time.

Anne-Marie Coreggia June 15, 2017 at 7:38 AM Peril lurks at every turn in this both funny and serious write; and I love the picture you chose to accompany your poem . . . it is so clever:) Amitiés Darren White June 15, 2017 at 7:42 AM Hehe, yeah, here's to all mailmen and UPS guys in the world, and booooo to some dog-owners!

Sunlite Wanter June 13, 2017 at 6:09 PM This is so clever, and true! Hope you're feeling better. Darren White June 15, 2017 at 2:30 AM Yes, much better, thank you!

Demetrios Trifiatis June 13, 2017 at 10:09 AM It could be too hilarious if it had not had happened so many times! I know cases that people have lost their life because of owners leaving their dogs free! Well written with a serious message dear, Darren! Darren White June 13, 2017 at 10:40 AM Thank you Demetrios! And yes, I think Tim alone could tell us dozens of stories :)

Tim Smith June 13, 2017 at 8:27 AM Hahaha...you know that was me in the pic for 25 years...I was the UPS guy...the stories of dogs I could tell you Darren White June 13, 2017 at 8:44 AM ohhhh, ouch! but it is a fun poem right? :)

Maria Williams June 13, 2017 at 7:48 AM Haha, a really good one Darren, pity the poor mailmen around here too. A lot of people dont keep their dogs in the back yards and allow then free reign of the front. I enjoyed this and the nice image...Maria Darren White June 13, 2017 at 8:40 AM Thanks Maria :) it's funny and true the same time

Lisa Ricci June 13, 2017 at 4:14 AM Good Morning Darren. The poor mailman. This is two folded. I see the serious and I see the play. The funny side is of the playful dog himself. The serious side is of when someone is truly afraid of a dog for whatever reason. And yes, the mailman sees many in his travels. And now I say to you I'll take that drink (lol). As always you wrote with dignity grace wit and thought. Well done and expressed. Have a wonderful afternoon Penguin. Darren White June 13, 2017 at 8:38 AM It's funny, isn't it Lisa, but indeed, so many people have to go through that ordeal.

Sara Ella June 12, 2017 at 8:36 PM Oh the poor mailman! This is a funny poem, my friend. I have seen them with dog treats in the ready for just this instance. Hazards of the job! ;) Darren White June 13, 2017 at 1:51 AM Hahaha, that's a smart thing to do! :)

Daniel Turner June 12, 2017 at 5:20 PM If you can't run with the big dogs stay on the porch. Lol Funny read, Darren:) Darren White June 13, 2017 at 1:50 AM Hehe, indeed, Daniel :)Thank you!

Ilene Bauer June 12, 2017 at 4:13 PM an amusing story, well-told! i like your style, darren... Darren White June 13, 2017 at 1:34 AM Thank you Ilene :)

White Wolf June 12, 2017 at 2:56 PM Haha, as long as it's not the Black Dog! Thanks for the giggles, Duir! And good evening to you Darren White June 12, 2017 at 3:02 PM LOL no Budgie, it's not OUR Black Dog hahaha.

Jan Allison June 12, 2017 at 2:19 PM made me smile Darren - poor old postie, dogs must be their worst nightmare! Hugs Jan xx Darren White June 12, 2017 at 2:24 PM Hehe, yeah, they sure are my friend :) HUGS

Dean Wood June 12, 2017 at 1:27 PM hehe This is funny. I like the way the poem loses control when the poor narrator gets rattled. Well done Darren! I enjoyed this one. Dean Darren White June 12, 2017 at 1:55 PM Thanks Dean! I am glkad you enjoyed the poem :)

Chris Green June 12, 2017 at 1:15 PM The poem was funny and so was the cartoon you attached. That poor postman, not only did he lose his dignity, he ended up having to buy. Nice one Darren. Darren White June 12, 2017 at 1:56 PM Yeah, life can be SO unfair!