The First Names We Learn

What happened when someone says ‘you have to do this, but you do not want to?’ Forty-five of us in this room, but the presenter is met with silence. The presenter persists. What if you feel it is morally wrong? But you are told to do it. Do you do it? A loud burst of laughter echoes around the room. The presenter smiles at me. Other participants turn and stare at me, in a gawking way. I do not even know these people, so their stares do not upset me. Compromising my integrity would upset me though, so I sit quietly, trying not to laugh as the presenter continues to make jokes that I catch. She is hilarious. What is wrong with the others? I feel myself slipping. Another loud burst of laughter projects out of me. Some of the others stare. One tries to shame me with one of those looks. The presenter begins using my name now. I am the one she knows. We are wearing name badges,but I am the loudest happy one. By the time the first day of conference is over, I am the only person she continually refers to, always talking about my sense of fun. I am unsure if it is because I am the rebel, or we relate to each other. I continue to be comfortable with myself, choosing not to think about the children whose names I always remember first when I am the teacher. You know who they are.