The Chatty Chair
.
U-umph, Oof-fa ha!.... There, comfy now?
Hey, would you pick up your tush,
reach in here and pick up your wife's locket?
It's down here under my cush,
and please get that screw driver outa your pocket?
That's good for me, yes much better.
Is it good for you too?
Yes, now go ahead and read your letter.
Hey, you remember when you and your wife,
saved me at that Auction in Aspen?
Talk about stress and strife !
I sure was a mess back then.
One last chance,
and I was headed for the rubbish bin.
The Auctioneer grabbed my arm,
And hollered out, "who'll bid it at a sixty?"
I remember being on stage watching you,
then it was "fifty five or bidit ata fifty -now fifty",
You didn't bid ; ..I thought I was through.
No one interested and he was droppin' fast!
"Biddit ata fortyforty thirtyfi-five bidit atta thirty two!"
"Bidda wudda gimme good chair, just alil bit dirty"
I was so nervous ; you just stared at your shoe!
"Lookin big bidder cudda cudda bidder thirty!"
Biddit abub bidja bidja bud, gimme gimme bouta fifteen on "er
well right then I Frayed My Hem! And thought I was a Goner!
"Wudja wudja cudda cudja gimme gimme biddit at about ten?"
That's when you looked up high and I saw the gleam in your eye.
I shifted my skirting, straightened my back and looked real bold,
You caught his eye, nodded your head and he hollered "SOLD!"
Well I rocked back easy and you went in to pay the man,
loaded me up and brought me home in your old van.
Y'all cleaned me up and gave me a nice shampoo,
and set me just so in your cozy library den.
You know..I'm really comfortable with you two.
I Have been since that auction in Aspen.
Hey! You dropped some popcorn in my... Oh ..never mind..,
Ahh..the memories..it's all good..it's all just FINE.
'
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