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The Chaos in my Heart

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Written for the prompt The Chaos of my Heart, Sara Jama's contest.

tell me: what is that hollow where sound was - an occupied space within no... just work around it - it's fiction find a mantra: I know not of where ideas bounce from I am in the here and now existing beyond the intention felt still - the vibration of temporal anticipation a haunting of regret persistent echoes of contrapuntal overload every sense screams of opposites no reality can fully contain the knowing when you've bled beyond realms afternoise weeps and wails at the loss of you seeks your frequency begs for you back to pre-existence tells you it's a fireside of calm - a refrain of: "how many times extinguished - gathered by the flames" the execution of this life is in my hands: chaotic tethers, the murmur of a snapped thrum I'm a composition of many parts held together only by a whisper of stitches freedom is a focussed hum over the last mêlée - evocation and rejection of the sub layers the afterlife of the cacophony is currently mine I must run with it

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Sara Jama

Date: 4/24/2025 12:40:00 PM

Congratulations on placing in my contest. Your poetry is consistently impresses. From "felt still - the vibration of temporal anticipation a haunting of regret," to "no reality can fully contain the knowing when you've bled beyond realms." I absolutely enjoy the depth in your poetry. The unrestricted hints of darkness and depth of emotions.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 4/24/2025 1:15:00 PM

Thank you so much Sara! I think your contests are unleashing a layer of poetic intent I had mostly held back on. The poetic darkness has a niche audience and takes some inner confidence to express regardless - so thank you for the platform to let loose on... I'm still very guarded, but who knows :)

Justin Bordner

Date: 4/21/2025 8:19:00 PM

Continued...It appears as though your hyperanalytical chaos has achieved something rare Poetess, it has caught Freedom in love. The question is, can your sincerely lovely chaos kiss love's reality...J.A.B.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 4/22/2025 7:10:00 AM

Once analysed chaos can transform from distracting noise into an elegant symphony - it is all about perception. Freedom in love I'm sure would immerse in all that sound has to offer, from the tribal drums to delicate percussion. Everything needs it's contrast to be appreciated. Thank you for posing an interesting counter question and your kind review :)

Justin Bordner

Date: 4/21/2025 8:13:00 PM

"existing beyond the intention...No reality can fully contain the knowing...the murmur of a snapped thrum...held together only by a whisper of stitches...freedom is a focused hum over the melee." We have sound, the feel of vibration, delicate touches that tease Time, fragile truths that what to grow into moments not conclusions. Spontaneity is how we may live beyond intention, Reality does not live on knowledge, Reality experiences itself through desire...J.A.B.

Lin Lane

Date: 4/21/2025 1:37:00 PM

Congratulations, Dilly. I read your responses and if this is what you write when you're chill, stay in that mood. Alternate reality or not, it's a winner.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 4/22/2025 6:45:00 AM

Thanks Lin :) congratulations on your trophy win :) I'm so enjoying Sara's contests, they really are adding a different dimension to the site :)

Duke Beaufort

Date: 4/19/2025 10:40:00 AM

Di11y, if you're saying that rejection isn't fun to deal with, that is putting it mildly!! All the things we've wanted and couldn't have are there to deal with, but we can still discover and live in the present and it is a blast. Don't you love it when we get past it all!! Take care and smiles!!

Di11y Da11y
Date: 4/19/2025 2:28:00 PM

I'm not 100% sure what I'm saying here, but I'd agree rejection is no fun. It is however a great decider on who wasn't worth the time in the first place! That moment of clarity when whatever the bother is becomes no longer a bother is gold! Thanks for your comment :)

David Kavanagh

Date: 4/19/2025 9:39:00 AM

Metaphysical chaos coming from every dimension and direction, possibly across time too! (every sense screams of opposites) A sensory overload if ever I seen one, yet I don’t sense any extreme panic, just an acceptance that this is what I am, and have no choice but to run with it! An incredible poem that knows what it feels, even if it doesn’t fully understand why, Chaos of the heart personified Dilly! Top entry for the contest, cheers David

Di11y Da11y
Date: 4/19/2025 9:55:00 AM

It's funny reading my poem back as I couldn't be more chill or living in the moment right now. Perhaps relaxed is the way to channel this type of writing haha. I'm definitely throwing myself headlong into Sara's prompts and holding nothing back from the creative adventures they take me on lol. I'm tempted to extrapolate on some of these word choices again as they felt like keys to another dimension to play with, such fun seeing where it would go. Thank you for stopping by for this one - my writes for Sara are a bit like alternate realities but I'm so enjoying the creative freedom they offer :) Thanks again! :)

Ink Empress

Date: 4/19/2025 6:54:00 AM

Ah this is so deep dear DD, one that flows with so many soul hitting lines! I love especially “I am in the here and now existing beyond the intention “ that resonates strongly and is powerful and so very moving! I also love “ I'm a composition of many parts held together only by a whisper of stitches” wow! I think theres a philosopher within you, and that is evident through your word weaving! Truly! Leaves me in awe how you deliver always quote worthy lines! Best wishes for the contest! I have a strong feelin sara will love this one! Sending you light always

Di11y Da11y
Date: 4/19/2025 8:29:00 AM

I'm on holiday at the moment and when I popped onto the site I realised the contest was filling up fast, so this was an "eyes just opened" write this morning at 5:30 :) I always think writing at those times produces something a bit different. Obviously I tried to get as mind bending as my initial premise of 'layered music' would allow. It was really fun to hook into an unusual metaphor :) thank you for your encouragement :)