The Beaming Up of Captain Kirk's Toupee

All of this just so happened With the saying of one simple phrase "Beam me up Scotty" Was all The Captain had said But all that came aboard Was Captain Kirk's toupee Never did they see James again After that fateful day Now Captain Kirk's toupee Is the one that's running the ship Barking out its orders From where the Captain once sat It's little wonder the toupee and the crew Don't see eye to eye As it continues throughout its screaming Can't you see I need more warp drive With Scotty hollering back I'm giving her all that's she's got Thinking the whole time the Captain's toupee Would make a good galley mop Spock while all this is happening Struggles to keep a straight face Which is really hard for a Vulcan to do When dealing with a demanding toupee Of course like James T. Kirk His toupee has a thing for alien gals Which leaves the ladies throughout the galaxy All with a bad taste and hair in their mouths And not to mention the trouble with the Klingon's Now they have no idea what to say How in the world do you wage war When your arch enemy is a bad toupee It's little surprise this all lead to a mutiny Of the Starship Enterprise crew The day they grabbed the toupee And ran to the transporter room They all wondered what took them so long The idea it was so blatantly simple As they beamed away Kirk's toupee Down to the surface of the Planet of Tribble's