The Beaming Up of Captain Kirk's Toupee
All of this just so happened
With the saying of one simple phrase
"Beam me up Scotty"
Was all The Captain had said
But all that came aboard
Was Captain Kirk's toupee
Never did they see James again
After that fateful day
Now Captain Kirk's toupee
Is the one that's running the ship
Barking out its orders
From where the Captain once sat
It's little wonder the toupee and the crew
Don't see eye to eye
As it continues throughout its screaming
Can't you see I need more warp drive
With Scotty hollering back
I'm giving her all that's she's got
Thinking the whole time the Captain's toupee
Would make a good galley mop
Spock while all this is happening
Struggles to keep a straight face
Which is really hard for a Vulcan to do
When dealing with a demanding toupee
Of course like James T. Kirk
His toupee has a thing for alien gals
Which leaves the ladies throughout the galaxy
All with a bad taste and hair in their mouths
And not to mention the trouble with the Klingon's
Now they have no idea what to say
How in the world do you wage war
When your arch enemy is a bad toupee
It's little surprise this all lead to a mutiny
Of the Starship Enterprise crew
The day they grabbed the toupee
And ran to the transporter room
They all wondered what took them so long
The idea it was so blatantly simple
As they beamed away Kirk's toupee
Down to the surface of the Planet of Tribble's
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