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The Answer Is Blowing In the Wind

I let it slip away, oh dear
I’m blushing, I’m truly ashamed
But I farted in the staff room
Guess, my diet must be blamed!

My new healthy plant based diet
Of brassica, pulses and beans
Means my bloated tummy bulges -
Clothes are straining at the seams!

I’ve tried eating charcoal biscuits
And I never eat refried bean curry
But my gurgling gut now warns me
I’ll have to exit the room in a hurry!

I’m adamant I won’t eat meat -
I’d never touch chicken or pork
But with all the veggies I consume
Maybe my bottom requires a cork!

I LET IT SLIP AWAY Poetry Contest

Sponsored By John Lawless

05/02/23

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John Lawless Date: 5/25/2023 5:21:00 AM Jan, this is a step up....at least you didn't P O O P. I don't know about the cork, if enough pressure builds up someone could get "cold corked".....(oh no, he didn't just go there) Thanks for adding a bit of humor to the contest. Login to Reply

Bill Baker Date: 5/20/2023 3:58:00 PM LOL funny poem, Jan. Well written as always, and a good contest entry. Good luck "Corky". Might as well get it out there, someone has to say it. :-) Have a great weekend my friend. A poet friend in Texas, Bill Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/22/2023 12:09:00 AM Knowing my love of farty/bawdy / silly poems I'm working on a humour book - I will add this one, 'm hoping it will be a best smeller lol:-) Jan Allison Date: 5/22/2023 12:03:00 AM thanks Bill - I have say I am careful about my diet especially at the moment as I;m supporting student's doing formal exams - to let rip in the room would be so embarrassing lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Beryl Edmonds Date: 5/12/2023 8:25:00 AM It could have been worse Jan, if you’d let go in class just Imagine the laughs at the gaffe… Belle :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/22/2023 12:03:00 AM I used to work with a lad i christened 'beans boy' we used to have to open the windows - his flatulence was off the scale:-( hugs jan xx

Paul Callus Date: 5/9/2023 5:34:00 AM Thank you for a hearty laugh, Jan :) Your humour never loses its shine! Hugs // paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/11/2023 5:37:00 AM Thanks Paul, I have a diamante crown for being Queen of Poop - i am not ready to pass it on to anyone for the foreseeable future lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May Date: 5/7/2023 6:47:00 PM Lol, Thanks for sharing this humorous poem Jan, hugs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/11/2023 5:36:00 AM Thanks Joseph:-) hugs jan xx

Joe Maverick Date: 5/6/2023 7:05:00 AM Wait till you get the fish-bait food.' Its in the green agenda, not meaning to be rude, some Of the bugs are carcegenic its worse even than gruel.' Maybe the middle ages, in a way Are coming back the likes of Andy windsor gets your Daughter, but being its the U K.' you won't get a12 million stack.' Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/11/2023 5:36:00 AM Thanks for the advice Joe:-) hugs Jan xx

Fin Chuuk Date: 5/4/2023 6:10:00 PM Lol. Good one :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/5/2023 12:42:00 AM thanks Fin hugs jan x

John Watt Date: 5/4/2023 9:22:00 AM Jan, you really put the GAS in gastro-intestinal! Thanks for the belly laugh you really made my day today. Especially love the title! Hugs ~ John Login to Reply John Watt Date: 5/4/2023 7:07:00 PM You haven't even begun to "exhaust" all the humour possibilities of this subject... Jan Allison Date: 5/4/2023 1:16:00 PM Thanks John I am firing on all four cylinders now - with my poetry I mean lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 5/4/2023 3:20:00 AM :))) ... the "good old" Jan ... blowing in the wind for sure :))) - hugs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/4/2023 3:28:00 AM Thanks Anne-Lise humour is so lacking in soup. I am glad I am back!:-) Happy Wednesday:-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Gentile Date: 5/3/2023 4:30:00 AM OMG, Better that a muffin slipping out of the oven! Jan , this is priceless!!! Love it and happy Wednesday!!! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/4/2023 3:27:00 AM ha ha ha a chocolate muffin - not one Betty Crocker would be proud of I guess lol:-) you crease me up Mike! Hugs jan xx

Joanna Daniel Date: 5/3/2023 3:02:00 AM I was laughing out loud after reading this, Jan, only you could think on this line for such a topic and execute it well:) enjoyed:) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/4/2023 3:26:00 AM I couldn't resist a farty poem and I am quite sure John will know its me Jo lol:-) hugs jan xx

Michelle Faulkner Date: 5/2/2023 8:09:00 PM Oh Jan, I have missed your naughty humor, glad you're back on PS :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 11:40:00 PM I'm delighted to be back but sad to see petty issues are still on going on soup but lets just write on Michelle:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf Date: 5/2/2023 6:40:00 PM Put a cork in it, Jan! ~ J.B. Dork Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 11:39:00 PM lol GW:-) hugs Jan xx

David Kavanagh Date: 5/2/2023 2:12:00 PM Plenty of roughage is great for the constitution Jan, but damn you need a colonic irrigation system fitted lol, madcap humour as always, yep the queen of poop is back, you let it slip away indeed! Love the title too, Cheers David Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 2:33:00 PM Thanks David I wear my queen of poop crown with pride - i really have a diamante one - sent from a lovely lady in the USA with lots of poop emoji items. the poem was originally called the poem 'hoof hearted' lol but the new title is better:-) hugs jan xx

Tania Kitchin Date: 5/2/2023 2:10:00 PM Ha ha ha, Jan your poems and humor make my day, so glad you're back, love it! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 2:31:00 PM I'm so glad your contest tempted me back onto soup Tania!!:-) hugs jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 5/2/2023 12:41:00 PM Lol! Jan, Keep the cork and air freshener in your purse! This is a good one the contest. Best wishes in the contest.So glad that you’re back:-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 2:30:00 PM lol Alexis:-) hugs Jan x

Terry Flood Date: 5/2/2023 11:52:00 AM Could be worse, Jan, you could be a smoker and I’d definitely recommend keeping clear of naked flames. Smashing to have you back. Terry Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 2:30:00 PM I dont smoke and neither am i a veggie and would be mortified if I farted in public - worked with a kid i called beans boy - we used to have top open the windows on a monday morning it was so vile:-( hugs Jan xx Lin Lane Date: 5/2/2023 12:11:00 PM lol Terry. So like you to have such a thought.

Tom Cunningham Date: 5/2/2023 11:00:00 AM Lol, the moral of the story, always carry a Cork and some air freshener wouldn't go amiss. Great humour Jan, this site needs more of it. Tom Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 2:28:00 PM Oh gosh a limerick collaboration now that is an idea lol, having seen such kindergarten behavior since i came back may be inspiration lol:-) hugs jan xx Tom Cunningham Date: 5/2/2023 1:00:00 PM They were such good fun Iin, everyone joining in Lin Lane Date: 5/2/2023 12:13:00 PM Tom, I think she gets the notion that she's been missed...those multi-poet collaborations, too.

Ilene Bauer Date: 5/2/2023 10:53:00 AM so good to have you back, jan! you're in fine fettle for sure! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 2:27:00 PM Thanks Ilene, I am in the humour groove at the moment xx

Lin Lane Date: 5/2/2023 9:49:00 AM Seriously, Jan? You post a picture of foods that produce tummy gas as your lines of evidence of what you DO eat. No wonder you slipped. Your old writing habits are in good working order. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 5/2/2023 10:01:00 AM LOL Lin I should have written FICTIONAL POEM but I'll let folk think what they like about me - I am past caring lol:-)hugs jan xx