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The Answer Is Blowing In the Wind

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I let it slip away, oh dear I’m blushing, I’m truly ashamed But I farted in the staff room Guess, my diet must be blamed! My new healthy plant based diet Of brassica, pulses and beans Means my bloated tummy bulges - Clothes are straining at the seams! I’ve tried eating charcoal biscuits And I never eat refried bean curry But my gurgling gut now warns me I’ll have to exit the room in a hurry! I’m adamant I won’t eat meat - I’d never touch chicken or pork But with all the veggies I consume Maybe my bottom requires a cork! I LET IT SLIP AWAY Poetry Contest Sponsored By John Lawless 05/02/23

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John Lawless

Date: 5/25/2023 5:21:00 AM

Jan, this is a step up....at least you didn't P O O P. I don't know about the cork, if enough pressure builds up someone could get "cold corked".....(oh no, he didn't just go there) Thanks for adding a bit of humor to the contest.

Bill Baker

Date: 5/20/2023 3:58:00 PM

LOL funny poem, Jan. Well written as always, and a good contest entry. Good luck "Corky". Might as well get it out there, someone has to say it. :-) Have a great weekend my friend. A poet friend in Texas, Bill

Jan Allison
Date: 5/22/2023 12:09:00 AM

Knowing my love of farty/bawdy / silly poems I'm working on a humour book - I will add this one, 'm hoping it will be a best smeller lol:-)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/22/2023 12:03:00 AM

thanks Bill - I have say I am careful about my diet especially at the moment as I;m supporting student's doing formal exams - to let rip in the room would be so embarrassing lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Beryl Edmonds

Date: 5/12/2023 8:25:00 AM

It could have been worse Jan, if you’d let go in class just Imagine the laughs at the gaffe… Belle :)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/22/2023 12:03:00 AM

I used to work with a lad i christened 'beans boy' we used to have to open the windows - his flatulence was off the scale:-( hugs jan xx

Paul Callus

Date: 5/9/2023 5:34:00 AM

Thank you for a hearty laugh, Jan :) Your humour never loses its shine! Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 5/11/2023 5:37:00 AM

Thanks Paul, I have a diamante crown for being Queen of Poop - i am not ready to pass it on to anyone for the foreseeable future lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 5/7/2023 6:47:00 PM

Lol, Thanks for sharing this humorous poem Jan, hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/11/2023 5:36:00 AM

Thanks Joseph:-) hugs jan xx

Joe Maverick

Date: 5/6/2023 7:05:00 AM

Wait till you get the fish-bait food.' Its in the green agenda, not meaning to be rude, some Of the bugs are carcegenic its worse even than gruel.' Maybe the middle ages, in a way Are coming back the likes of Andy windsor gets your Daughter, but being its the U K.' you won't get a12 million stack.'

Jan Allison
Date: 5/11/2023 5:36:00 AM

Thanks for the advice Joe:-) hugs Jan xx

Fin Chuuk

Date: 5/4/2023 6:10:00 PM

Lol. Good one :)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/5/2023 12:42:00 AM

thanks Fin hugs jan x

John Watt

Date: 5/4/2023 9:22:00 AM

Jan, you really put the GAS in gastro-intestinal! Thanks for the belly laugh you really made my day today. Especially love the title! Hugs ~ John

John Watt
Date: 5/4/2023 7:07:00 PM

You haven't even begun to "exhaust" all the humour possibilities of this subject...

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2023 1:16:00 PM

Thanks John I am firing on all four cylinders now - with my poetry I mean lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 5/4/2023 3:20:00 AM

:))) ... the "good old" Jan ... blowing in the wind for sure :))) - hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2023 3:28:00 AM

Thanks Anne-Lise humour is so lacking in soup. I am glad I am back!:-) Happy Wednesday:-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Gentile

Date: 5/3/2023 4:30:00 AM

OMG, Better that a muffin slipping out of the oven! Jan , this is priceless!!! Love it and happy Wednesday!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2023 3:27:00 AM

ha ha ha a chocolate muffin - not one Betty Crocker would be proud of I guess lol:-) you crease me up Mike! Hugs jan xx

Joanna Daniel

Date: 5/3/2023 3:02:00 AM

I was laughing out loud after reading this, Jan, only you could think on this line for such a topic and execute it well:) enjoyed:)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/4/2023 3:26:00 AM

I couldn't resist a farty poem and I am quite sure John will know its me Jo lol:-) hugs jan xx

Michelle Faulkner

Date: 5/2/2023 8:09:00 PM

Oh Jan, I have missed your naughty humor, glad you're back on PS :)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 11:40:00 PM

I'm delighted to be back but sad to see petty issues are still on going on soup but lets just write on Michelle:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf

Date: 5/2/2023 6:40:00 PM

Put a cork in it, Jan! ~ J.B. Dork

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 11:39:00 PM

lol GW:-) hugs Jan xx

David Kavanagh

Date: 5/2/2023 2:12:00 PM

Plenty of roughage is great for the constitution Jan, but damn you need a colonic irrigation system fitted lol, madcap humour as always, yep the queen of poop is back, you let it slip away indeed! Love the title too, Cheers David

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 2:33:00 PM

Thanks David I wear my queen of poop crown with pride - i really have a diamante one - sent from a lovely lady in the USA with lots of poop emoji items. the poem was originally called the poem 'hoof hearted' lol but the new title is better:-) hugs jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 5/2/2023 2:10:00 PM

Ha ha ha, Jan your poems and humor make my day, so glad you're back, love it!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 2:31:00 PM

I'm so glad your contest tempted me back onto soup Tania!!:-) hugs jan xx

Arlo Parker

Date: 5/2/2023 12:45:00 PM

What we endure for health!!!! Steak and tators, please. Fun, JA.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 2:30:00 PM

meat and 2 veg for me Arlo:-)

Alexis Y.

Date: 5/2/2023 12:41:00 PM

Lol! Jan, Keep the cork and air freshener in your purse! This is a good one the contest. Best wishes in the contest.So glad that you’re back:-) Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 2:30:00 PM

lol Alexis:-) hugs Jan x

Terry Flood

Date: 5/2/2023 11:52:00 AM

Could be worse, Jan, you could be a smoker and I’d definitely recommend keeping clear of naked flames. Smashing to have you back. Terry

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 2:30:00 PM

I dont smoke and neither am i a veggie and would be mortified if I farted in public - worked with a kid i called beans boy - we used to have top open the windows on a monday morning it was so vile:-( hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane
Date: 5/2/2023 12:11:00 PM

lol Terry. So like you to have such a thought.

Tom Cunningham

Date: 5/2/2023 11:00:00 AM

Lol, the moral of the story, always carry a Cork and some air freshener wouldn't go amiss. Great humour Jan, this site needs more of it. Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 2:28:00 PM

Oh gosh a limerick collaboration now that is an idea lol, having seen such kindergarten behavior since i came back may be inspiration lol:-) hugs jan xx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 5/2/2023 1:00:00 PM

They were such good fun Iin, everyone joining in

Lin Lane
Date: 5/2/2023 12:13:00 PM

Tom, I think she gets the notion that she's been missed...those multi-poet collaborations, too.

Ilene Bauer

Date: 5/2/2023 10:53:00 AM

so good to have you back, jan! you're in fine fettle for sure!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 2:27:00 PM

Thanks Ilene, I am in the humour groove at the moment xx

Lin Lane

Date: 5/2/2023 9:49:00 AM

Seriously, Jan? You post a picture of foods that produce tummy gas as your lines of evidence of what you DO eat. No wonder you slipped. Your old writing habits are in good working order.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/2/2023 10:01:00 AM

LOL Lin I should have written FICTIONAL POEM but I'll let folk think what they like about me - I am past caring lol:-)hugs jan xx