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*My first mini script
The Starship Enterprise has just entered an unexplored region of space. Before long two alien ships engage the Enterprise; shields up, weapons powered.
Kirk: "Lieutenant Uhura, open hailing frequencies."
Uhura: "Hailing frequencies open, captain."
Kirk: "This is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. We are on a peaceful mission of exploration. Please acknowledge."
(Incoming message from lead ship) "Blthenn shpllf dtipfh"
Kirk: "Dang it lieutenant, can't you auto-tune that stinking universal translator!"
Uhura: "Auto-tune engaged, captain."
Kirk: "I repeat, this is Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise..."
(Message interrupted by incoming transmission) "Blthenn shpllf dtipfh!"
Kirk: "Hailing frequencies closed, lieutenant."
Uhura: "Hailing frequencies closed, captain."
Kirk: "Bones, Spock, I need a plan of action - now! Suggestions?"
Spock: "Logic would dictate that we leave this region of space immediately without further adieu."
Bones: "Logic would dictate, logic would dictate. Listen you green-blooded pointy-eared freak of nature, we've got guns pointed at us from every direction. Just where would you suggest we go? Oh, I know, you're gonna use some sort of projected telepathy to put 'em all in some kinda trance while we just 'skip to my lou' on outta here! Logic my..."
Kirk intervenes: "Gentlemen, gentlemen, what I need are answers, not petty debates. Spock, you recommended exiting. How would we go about it?"
Spock: "Well Captain, uh, I was going to suggest using telepathy to..."
Bones jumps in: "See there, what'd I tell ya? He's recommending a massive Vulcan mind-meld from hell. By the time he's done we're all gonna be in some kinda trance and I for one have no intention of living out the rest of my life as some sort of space zombie frozen in some godforsaken nether region of space..."
Kirk: "Bones, Bones. I'm afraid I must now confine you to sick bay. Surely there are crew members suffering from various and sundry space-related ailments, hmmm? I will keep you apprised of any decisions made. And McCoy, try to smile, huh? It's not the end of the world."
Chekhov chimes in (under his breath): "Not yet"
McCoy exits, mumbling: "Blthenn shpllf dtipfh."
Uhura (to herself): "Why does that sound familiar?"
Kirk: "Mr. Chekhov, do you have something you'd like to share with the rest of us?"
Chekhov: "No sir, captain sir! I vas just imagining how good a shot of wodka vould taste right about now, sir."
Kirk: "I share your sentiments ensign. We all share them. Don't we Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "Wodka, captain?"
Kirk: "Enough! Mr. Scott, give me warp nine, on the double! Get us out of here Scotty."
Scotty: "I canna obey yer order, captain. If we try n' take Enterprise from full stop to warp nine, she'll shake apart."
Kirk: "I'm not looking for excuses mister! Now get us out of here, before I lose my temper."
Scotty: "Aye aye captain, I'll give her all she's got, and maybe just a wee bit more."
Three additional alien ships have suddenly arrived on the scene, bringing the total to five. Enterprise now has no way out. Exit appears impossible. And yet...
Kirk: "Answers gentlemen, I said I want answers!"
Spock: "The only logical course at this point would be to surrender, captain. I, for one, have no desire to be blown to bits by a hundred photon torpedoes as it would logically interfere with my future scientific research endeavors..."
Kirk: "I said I need real answers, not wimpy ones. No offense Mr. Spock, perhaps a human point of view..."
Uhura: "Captain, There was something odd about Dr. McCoy's behavior as he was leaving the bridge..."
Kirk: "Spock, did you hear that strange buzzing noise? It sounded as though it was coming from the communications station."
Spock: "Well, Captain, er..."
Uhura (stands up and stomps to the center of the bridge): "That's it! I will no longer be ignored, treated as sub-rate or likened to an anomalous noise. Now get this straight buster! When Dr. McCoy left the bridge he mumbled something. That something was picked up by the computer and recorded. Now everyone listen carefully as I play the recording back (returns to station), 'Blthenn shpllf dtipfh.' Sound familiar?"
(Entire bridge crew afraid to move, including Kirk, whose jaw has dropped and is now sweating profusely, though he has to admit that Uhura is really hot when she's angry)
Uhura: "Hellooo? It's the exact same message that we received from the lead alien ship when we first found ourselves in this mess."