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Kirk: "Spock, is it possible McCoy is somehow being controlled by an alien presence?"
Spock: "Curiously, I have long believed that McCoy was..."
Kirk: "Not now Spock!  Sheesh.  Sulu, get McCoy up here - on the double!"
Sulu: (snore)
Kirk: "I said on the double, mister!"
Sulu: "On the double, captain." (under his breath) "Been flying this lousy ship for 36 hours straight but does anyone care about the token Asian-American on board?  Star Fleet's gonna hear about this..."
Kirk: "Spock, I'm hearing that buzzing noise again..."
(After a bit McCoy enters the bridge, in traditional zombie style)
Kirk: "Spock, just look at him!  He's obviously under the influence."
Spock: (mumbling) "He's under the influence all right..."
Kirk: "Did you say something, Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "Ahem.  As I was saying Captain, logic would seem to suggest that Dr. McCoy is under some sort of alien mind-control.  There is only one logical explanation."
Kirk: "And that is...?"
Spock: "Um, that the aliens are controlling his mind, captain, sir."
Kirk: (sighs) "Well that's somewhat obvious now isn't it Mr. Spock.  Is there anything you can do?"
Spock: "A Vulcan mind-meld should reveal what the aliens want from us, captain.  However, may I point out that doing so would require me to put my hands all over Dr. McCoy's face and..."
Kirk: "Spock, Spock. Just do it!"
(Spock engages McCoy in a Vulcan mind-meld while secretly considering how easy it would be to switch from mind-meld to the Vulcan death-grip.  Nevertheless, his Star Fleet sensibilities keep him focused on the task at hand.  After a few minutes the mind-meld is over.  Spock quietly returns to his station.  McCoy is unconscious.)
Kirk: "Well Spock?  What do they want?"
Spock: "I'd rather not say, captain."
Kirk: "Mr. Spock, I order you to reveal the results of the mind-meld, now!"
Spock: "Well captain, um... er..."
Kirk: "Spock!"
Spock: "It would appear that the aliens are on a long-term mission and have run out of (ahem) toilet tissue and were wondering if we might spare a thousand rolls or so.  Seems their inventory control officer forgot to add this item to his itinerary.  After securing such we are free to pass through their space, unhindered."
(Bridge crew is silent, then all bust out laughing. McCoy wakes up.)
McCoy: "Wha, what happened?  Where am I?  And what's so danged funny?"
(Bridge crew laughs all the harder)
Kirk: "Scotty, can you make sure that our new friends receive their request?  Transporter two has been made available, at your discretion."
Scotty: "Aye, captain, and I'll send the load with a red ribbon attached as well."
(Bridge crew laughing again)
McCoy: "Will someone please tell me what all the laughing is about?  Spock, if you had anything to do with this..."
Kirk: "Bones, why not join me in my ready-room.  I've got a little story to tell you..."
(Spock smiles, discreetly)
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