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Sorrow In Twilight (No U-M-E Contest)

Oh, how I find sorrow in a twilight A sky is drawn vast, with artistic flair With bands of coral crown and florid silk Sinking low on distant horizon A bright torch of sad partings...wilting away Swiftly a world shrinks to gray Why, does it go, oh solar joy of this day? Why will a night hold cold dark tidings? Halting lyrics of birds that sing Or dancing wind that frolics along a branch? A pall of isolation now waits in shadows Stalking as a lion And worry harbors on downy pillows As clocks tick slowly in forlorn wail Black fills a corridor...vanishing this blissful day Longing holds a night in chains... I will wait for daylight... I will wait for his arrival.... For again on rainbow wings As dawning brings......joy again... Night will part..... I will watch as a shining knight of day is born to walk across in bliss...and hills and sky will kiss.... .....again,...and again..... And I will always know.... .... with dawning of a crisp bright sky.... a day for now, at last, is born again to own.... Inspired by Nikko's contest "Using no U-M-E" (Thanks to friends who helped me stumble through this challenge! :)

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010




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Date: 7/2/2010 12:13:00 PM
Hi Carrie, Aaggh, how hard it is to spot all of those letters!! I'm so sorry that between us all we didn't manage to weed them all out, I can't believe there were still two in there. Are you sure there wasn't some pesky imp putting them back in as fast as you removed them? ;) No matter what, it's still a superb poem in its own right and you still deserve congratulating. Hehe we didn't do so well between us with those gremlins did we. Thanks for your kind comments on 'For Jennifer' ~ Sharon :)
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Date: 7/2/2010 8:17:00 AM
Hi Carrie---I honestly felt so sad in having to eliminate this awesome write of yours--rest assured that this would have been in the top winners if it didn't have "does" & "blissful"--I kept hoping that you or anybody else would spot it--- :( --- such an awesome write, written with a wistful air --I honestly applaud you for your valiant effort with this and also to all those friends who helped you with this--bravo! --nikko :)
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Date: 6/25/2010 2:28:00 PM
Interesting metaphoric language in this one..Very poetic...Should be in the winners' circle...Good luck with the excellent work..Sara
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Date: 6/25/2010 9:40:00 AM
Well done, Carrie. So many beautiful images in this poem. There may have been some Us, Ms and Es earlier, but I didn't see any now. Congrats on accomplishing this difficult feat with style! Love, Carolyn
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Date: 6/25/2010 9:17:00 AM
soupmail :)
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Date: 6/25/2010 8:22:00 AM
This is really beautiful Carrie, and I'm so impressd at how easily you edited out those unwelcome guests ;) Best of luck in the contest, I'm sure this will do very well (eek, hop you don't mind me saying you still have one 'e' 3rd line from bottom, and two 'and's on the nxt line down) ~ Sharon :)
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Date: 6/25/2010 8:11:00 AM
Oh, my goodness, I looked at the comments to you just now and saw how Sharon caught a bunch of e's. I was so focused on checking your u's, I did not even see the e's. well, I am sure you can find good synonyms to replace those words if you have not already done so! Probably I am seeing the edited version. Way to go!
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Date: 6/25/2010 8:09:00 AM
OH BOY, talk about my swan. how can I EVER top THIS?? I did a really short poem, Carrie. hahaha. I think I barely went past her minimum requirement of 18 words!! I will be lucky to get an HM after seeing what you and Sharon both entered! LUv, Andrea
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Date: 6/25/2010 7:54:00 AM
Thanks for your comments. Soup mail :)
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Date: 6/25/2010 6:38:00 AM
I am enjoying reading the diverse poetry presented here today. I wish you a weekend of good health, love, and inspiration. The best to you always in your endeavors Carrie. Love, Carol
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Date: 6/25/2010 6:07:00 AM
A wonderful entry -For again on rainbow wings as dawning brings nice expression. Good luck in the contest
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Date: 6/25/2010 1:55:00 AM
incredible talent you are! my friend! intense quality! jimbo
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Date: 6/24/2010 8:44:00 PM
Lovely write, but check for your e's - dew, left, brighter, stillness, panther, melody - hope I caught them all for you and hope. Best of luck in the contest ~ Sharon :)
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Date: 6/24/2010 8:01:00 PM
soup mail..BG
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things