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Something Not Quite Right


the man had a flat expression      and showed no emotion
     he seemed    disconnected   his movements bizarre
and his eyes lost     sometimes standing motionless
           on the busy street corner 
with his little dog     I always gave him    money
(what's a few bucks to me )
thinking this is someone's child    baby
  oh he was sloppy    his hygiene     lacking
the man's memory    muddled    confused 
but he did have a history    locked within   deep inside
at nineteen   he was hearing voices   paraniod
    thoughts    hullucinations   bizarre 
(like the pope was from outer space)  delusional 
     he had withdraw from society     run away 
did not want to be a burden    no one understood
    disorganized and poor judgement 
made      working   impossible    they yelled at him
  (he threw away his pills)
he wrote in cheap  journals   from
edge to edge   top to bottom   words jumbled  meaningless 
          (in a secret language)
he did not    show happiness     agitation   pleasure   but
       for some reason    sadness   oh yes sadness
was written all over him     I could see      feel 
that    and he did have   love    a real deep love
for that thin     scraggly dog    and  I     thought 
some may think       he is a drunk
                            but they are wrong    this is 
      schizophrenia

____________________________
August 4, 2015

Poetry/Free Verse/Something Not Quite Right
Copyright Protected, ID 15-697-431-0
All Rights Reserved.  Written under Pseudonym.

For the contest, Mental Illness,
sponsor, Nathan D

Fifth Place

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




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Date: 8/23/2015 4:25:00 PM
such a sensitive pen Broken wings - people can be so quick to make a snap judgement when all they need to do is scratch the surface and they may learn something:-)congrats on your win:-) hugs jan xx
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Date: 8/22/2015 2:50:00 AM
Since I retired I have been working as a deli cook at a store. There is a man much like the one you describe who comes in almost every day because he has nothing else to do...When I can, I talk to him and always at least say hello. Where he is concerned, I remember the saying 'There, but by the grace of God go I'
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Date: 8/22/2015 2:44:00 AM
Heartbreaking and sensitive write my friend...I assume this is a real person? LOVE the line 'for some reason sadness oh yes sadness'...VERY effective repetition. BIG congrats - Tim
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Date: 8/20/2015 2:44:00 PM
A very sensitive portrayal of mental illness. Congrats, Hugs Rick.
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Date: 8/19/2015 11:58:00 PM
Congrats on ur awesome poem n win broken!
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Date: 8/19/2015 9:01:00 PM
Broken. Congrats on your Mental Illness win.... SKAT
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Date: 8/19/2015 8:17:00 PM
Thank you
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Date: 8/5/2015 7:46:00 PM
very very good one. so much better than the oldie I submitted on same topic (mine just mentioned my dad having it, did not go in detail like this one). I really like this. It should be a top scoring one!
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Date: 8/5/2015 1:55:00 PM
Very well written with strong emotions and great flow. Your use of colorful images and language adds to the charm and the depth of this work. I liked the poem as a good read, it has a very relatable quality to it that's easily recognizable. Emile. #7
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Date: 8/4/2015 11:03:00 PM
This is a very sad write, Constance. What a difficult life to lead...when no one understands...to separate oneself from society seems the only way....However, thank God for medication that helps. I loved the movie...Beautiful Mind. It really touched me. This poem is very well constructed, dear. Good luck in the contest.
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Date: 8/4/2015 10:47:00 PM
There is something about most dogs that make it almost impossible not to love them back. An ounce of kindness from a person results in an abundance of affection from a dog, even a formerly mistreated dog. If only people could be that way...Thank you for sharing. Just Ed :)
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