Silence is loud

Trying to work The silence so loud The slightest noise makes me mad How did I let it get this bad? Trying to speak, the words come out jumbled My head a mess, even when I walk I stumble Waiting for the doctor to call If they give bad news I can’t take no more I spent the week under a black cloud The darkness takes over, the silence is loud What is left to say remains unsaid My soul is black, I feel so dead Working only to keep my mind busy Yet everything is hard, when its usually easy It would be easy to throw in the towel and say no more But if I did that, what was all the fighting for? This isn’t the first time I’ve had to fight to survive, Many a time I should of died But what do you do when the hero needs saving? My life is mine, it is what I make it I just wish someone would call to say hello Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so alone In a room, love surrounding Yet all my thoughts are so confounding Life gets hard, I know that better than most But how do you survive if you feel like a ghost? My thoughts and feelings never seen Wrap that all up resulted in ME HATING ME These thoughts of mine describe a moment in time It’s easier to write them in these rhymes If anyone asks I’ll say I’m fine Maybe reading this will show that’s a lie As iv said before the silence is loud I suppose being vulnerable is allowed But when you’ve been told vulnerability makes you weak Then another’s help you do not seek I guess what I’m saying is help is what I need I need to know that doesn’t make we weak The darkness takes over, I know this feeling too well All these thoughts of mine belong in hell……