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Poem

Trying to work
The silence so loud
The slightest noise makes me mad
How did I let it get this bad?

Trying to speak, the words come out jumbled
My head a mess, even when I walk I stumble
Waiting for the doctor to call
If they give bad news I can’t take no more

I spent the week under a black cloud
The darkness takes over, the silence is loud
What is left to say remains unsaid
My soul is black, I feel so dead

Working only to keep my mind busy
Yet everything is hard, when its usually easy
It would be easy to throw in the towel and say no more
But if I did that, what was all the fighting for?

This isn’t the first time I’ve had to fight to survive,
Many a time I should of died
But what do you do when the hero needs saving?
My life is mine, it is what I make it

I just wish someone would call to say hello
Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so alone
In a room, love surrounding
Yet all my thoughts are so confounding

Life gets hard, I know that better than most
But how do you survive if you feel like a ghost?
My thoughts and feelings never seen
Wrap that all up resulted in ME HATING ME

These thoughts of mine describe a moment in time
It’s easier to write them in these rhymes
If anyone asks I’ll say I’m fine
Maybe reading this will show that’s a lie

As iv said before the silence is loud
I suppose being vulnerable is allowed
But when you’ve been told vulnerability makes you weak
Then another’s help you do not seek

I guess what I’m saying is help is what I need
I need to know that doesn’t make we weak
The darkness takes over, I know this feeling too well
All these thoughts of mine belong in hell……

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