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Raven Shadows




Raven Shadows
Ravens fly in an ebony pool out of the mouth of evil Someone please suture the mouth from which they come Then let the beasts fly away into obscurity The masquerade of Shadows moves on In their aloof manner coaxing you to follow Behind you walk in cousin shadows towards death Darkness tends to hypnotize all that want to believe Flashing you a veneer smile, darkness with fake teeth All the darkness, ravens, and shadows share like eyes Those of a glowing opaque evanescence Still you are just too weak to show your resistance Into the mountain runs a crimson creek The gateway into which you are being led All these evil spirits that you now call friends Are going to claim victory the very moment you die...
05/31/17 For Contest: Write Me Something Deep and Dark (Free Verse)
WON 1st PLACE IN CONTEST RESULTS

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




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Date: 10/11/2017 9:03:00 PM
A belated congratulations on your win with your brilliant write Brian. Deep with dark imagery. Your first line is amazing, and the rest, captivating. I so enjoyed your poem this evening!
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Brian Davey
Date: 10/11/2017 9:13:00 PM
Thank you so much for the kind words and all of the praise
Date: 8/2/2017 6:18:00 AM
I did not know there was a contest but even without it I recognized this one a winner in amy category, Brian.Very deep and appropo. Very well written. Congratulations to you. God bless
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Brian Davey
Date: 9/24/2017 11:31:00 AM
thank you so much and I apologize for the late response but I was in a bad car accident
Date: 6/7/2017 10:24:00 AM
Congrats Brian on a great write and a great win!
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Brian Davey
Date: 9/24/2017 11:31:00 AM
thank you so much and I apologize for the late response but I was in a bad car accident
Date: 6/7/2017 8:57:00 AM
Congrats Brian on your win. Well put together.
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Brian Davey
Date: 9/24/2017 11:30:00 AM
thank you so much and I apologize for the late response but I was in a bad car accident
Date: 6/7/2017 5:06:00 AM
It seems a little bit precise in delivery and the story jumps about without cohesion, could do with personalising to draw the reader into the poem, rather than being told of these things.....
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Brian Davey
Date: 9/24/2017 11:31:00 AM
Thank you for your input but as it may be sometimes the chaotic nature of things is what's needed to be read.
Date: 6/6/2017 9:10:00 PM
Shadows throughout...deep and dark! Congrats on your win, Brian!
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Brian Davey
Date: 9/24/2017 11:29:00 AM
thank you so much and I apologize for the late response but I was in a bad car accident
Date: 6/6/2017 9:09:00 PM
oh my Brian...what can I say? This was stunningly outstanding. Have me chills, I read it like 5 times and each time I read something different. So thought provoking and intense. Exactly what I was hoping for. thank you and congrats! :)
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Brian Davey
Date: 9/24/2017 11:28:00 AM
thank you so much and I apologize for the late response but I have been recuperating from a bad car accident! I am ecstatic to find I did so well!!!