Priorities Viewed By a Dying Man

Death be not proud but humble with strife
Old man flicks ashes, has one last choke
‘Tis nothing to fear, just the nature of life
 
Many passed before him, cut off like a knife
They fester in his memory with this his final smoke
Death be not proud but humble with strife

In youth there were ladies, his courtships were rife 
But never a vow, no promises he spoke
‘Tis nothing to fear, just the nature of life
 
He lived wild and free, never seeking a wife 
Much wealth he acquired, never to be broke 
Death be not proud but humble with strife

He failed to see beyond the edge of gold’s knife
Shared nothing, loved no one, found no comforting cloak 
‘Tis nothing to fear, just the nature of life
 
Tonight he wishes that he should have changed his life
He snuffs his candle, knows he’ll not feel heaven’s stroke
Death be not proud but humble with strife
‘Tis nothing to fear, just the nature of life
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Brown Avatar
June 30, 2011 at 5:11 AM
A belated congratulations Carolyn on your win in Brian Strand's "One Off" contest. Love, Carol
Poet Avatar
June 20, 2011 at 8:00 PM
Deep and powerful write Carolyn!Congrats on your win.
Guzzi Avatar
June 18, 2011 at 6:16 AM
ohh so dark! Hard to believe anyone could chose this for themselves but they do. Congrad's Light & Love
Johnson Avatar
June 17, 2011 at 11:49 PM
Well done Villanelle. Great work Carolyn. Congratulations to us this time. Love, Joyce
Dietrich Avatar
June 17, 2011 at 9:48 PM
Sad one and very powerful one too. Congratulations on your awesome win, Carolyn.
Onclaud Avatar
June 17, 2011 at 12:11 AM
sunny congrats on your top win in brian's "off , one" , carols! we are all no.1 here in the contest! :) huggs
Poet Avatar
May 29, 2011 at 1:58 PM
Very good Villanelle.Vivid descriptions of the priorities of a dying man...
Pettit Avatar
February 15, 2011 at 7:59 PM
I will have to try writing something of my own like this. Your entry looks like a good example of a villanelle.
Haick Avatar
July 6, 2010 at 7:20 AM
A very beautiful write, Carolyn! Congratulations on you 2nd Place Win! Excellent imagery and that line, "Shared nothing, loved no one, found no comforting cloak.." wow! Scary and sad. Love, Audrey
Adeite Avatar
July 3, 2010 at 12:47 PM
hey Carolyn, Great entry and a worthy win. Enjoy your winnings. keep up the great work. keep enjoying your writings, have a lovely weekend. Love, Adeleke
Green Avatar
July 3, 2010 at 9:10 AM
"He failed to see beyond the edge of gold’s knife", love that line. Excellent poem, really enjoyed. Congrats on your win.
Richards Avatar
July 3, 2010 at 8:21 AM
Beautifully done, Carolyn!! you told a woeful story in thhis wonderful villanelle! Deserving to win!! ~ Carrie
George   Avatar
July 3, 2010 at 4:08 AM
Incredible story told in this sensational Villanelle, Carolyn Congratulations on your win. Love, Lainie
Dietrich Avatar
July 3, 2010 at 12:28 AM
Congratulations, Carolyn. So nice to see you in the top three. I wish you the best July 4th weekend ever. LUv, Andrea
Freeman Avatar
July 2, 2010 at 11:09 PM
Congratulations on your success in this competitions Carolyn. Agape, Moses
Mehta Avatar
July 2, 2010 at 10:38 PM
Congrats. on your 2nd place win in my contest
Johnson Avatar
July 2, 2010 at 10:13 PM
Clngratulations on your win. Love, Joyce
Dietrich Avatar
June 14, 2010 at 12:06 AM
wow, your villanelle is very deep and I really like it. I am sure it's gonna do so well. The one i posted tonight was not my official entry. Gosh, maybe it is better than my Dark Knight. Let me know what you think. PRobably too late to switch them out! Thanks so much for seenig my blog. LUv Andrea
Esquire Avatar
June 11, 2010 at 4:07 AM
Dear Carolyn, YOU are a great POET and Teacher I learned much about this form from reading this Artistic work Congratulations LOVE YOUR Liege ALWAYS...HG
Kendrick Avatar
June 8, 2010 at 11:24 AM
Great write good luck in the contest...Do you know this person? Or is this an imaginery person...Keep the creative pen flowing..Sara
Kendrick Avatar
June 8, 2010 at 11:22 AM
Wonder if this is someone that you know?...Good write on a topic that is not mentioned much...I meet a man one time who said that he and his wife decided to not have children because if you had children all your money went to children and he wanted something in life besides a child....He was wealthy and wanted me to view all that he owned which did not really interest me...He did not like me very well because of that ...Good luck in the contest...Keep the creative pen flowing...Sara
Fraser Avatar
June 7, 2010 at 11:50 AM
Carolyn, good luck in Dr.Ram's contest with this fine poetry. Podium bound you are girl >> James
Johnson Avatar
June 6, 2010 at 8:13 PM
Beautiful villanelle. Glad I found it. The contests are moving so fast, I can't get anything else attended to. I am going to be gone most of this week, so I will fall behind. Thanks for commenting. Love, Joyce
Henderson Avatar
June 6, 2010 at 7:55 PM
I have not tried this yet. It looks so very hard, but you threaded this through very well. I may have to practice away from the soup. -----Charles
Jordan Avatar
June 6, 2010 at 6:57 AM
Carolyn, this is a very deep poem - well said. I thank you for your comments, Yf4L God Bless, mj
12
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace