Joanna Daniel Poet Pantoum

Poet's Page Pleads

I lie here waiting for your gaze -
    The hurt in your eyes is cold fire,
Why don't you come near nowadays?
    What have I done to draw your ire?

The hurt in your eyes is cold fire,
    It seems you are upset with me,
What have I done to draw your ire?
    Talk to me or you'll go crazy;

It seems you are upset with me,
    I feel useless, please fill my blank,
Talk to me or you'll go crazy,
    You know I'll help you, let's be frank;

I feel useless, please fill my blank,
    Why don't you come near nowadays?
You know I'll help you, let's be frank,
    I lie here waiting for your gaze.


(Pantoum and Personification)
May 25th, 2017


Contest: Form P
Sponsor: Broken Wings 

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Debbie Duncan July 3, 2017 at 2:27 AM Love it, I wrote one called Her Words just because of writer's block. Sometimes you just can't think of a word. Congrats on win :)

Eve Roper June 6, 2017 at 7:36 PM Jo, congratulations on your win ~*

Constance La France June 5, 2017 at 4:01 PM Jo CONGRATULATIONS on your win in my contest with this wonderful poem Joanna Daniel June 6, 2017 at 8:59 AM Thank you so much, Constance, enjoyed the challenge:) all glory be to God alone:)

Joseph May June 3, 2017 at 9:46 AM Congrats on your win Jo

Alexis Y. June 2, 2017 at 7:06 PM Hi Jo, You did a great job with both forms. Congratulations on your win. It was well deserved:-) Alexis

Janis Medders Tobechi June 2, 2017 at 2:26 PM Creative approach to writing. Well done pantoum with personification. Congrats.

Andrea Dietrich May 29, 2017 at 12:57 AM GREAT job combining the two forms!! You, I and at least one other person personified pages. I think it was a great way to do it!! and I love how you did yours.

Nette Onclaud May 28, 2017 at 3:36 PM wow, this is very creatively done, jo... greeat wordplay and mood.. huggs

Joseph May May 28, 2017 at 1:32 PM Very nicely done Jo...GL in the contest

Phillip Garcia May 26, 2017 at 2:25 PM I dig it! Tough tough form to write smooth lines for, very well done, Jo.

John Hamilton May 25, 2017 at 9:50 PM Love this Pantoum, difficult for but you pulled it off! Should do well in the contest!

Jun Gonzales May 25, 2017 at 8:13 PM Sad Poem, yet lovely.

Vladislav Raven May 25, 2017 at 6:44 PM Hi Jo, i love the Pantoum, it is such a beautiful form to work in. Your piece has used this form excellently. Loved the content Jo. Off to read again. This has to be a seven and a fave. Your Friend always....Mike.

Eve Roper May 25, 2017 at 2:58 PM Love the Pantoum, Jo, one of my favorite forms... good luck with this great write.. ~*

Tim Smith May 25, 2017 at 11:19 AM The melancholy tugged hard at my heart...well done Jo

Lin Lane May 25, 2017 at 10:53 AM You just commented on one of my writes that sad poems are abundant lately, so it must be contagious... now you've written one, too. And a very fine pantoum it is, Jo.

Chris Green May 25, 2017 at 10:37 AM Wonderfully written my friend. The theme is consistent and the feel of the piece is smooth. I liked this a lot.