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Plath as Poe Contest - Dream within a Dream

The chalk returns to dust Disappearing the dread of dreamless nights Just to turn into the contents of a cannon ball Where inner turmoil is shot into the blue Blurred electrical pulses - firing in enclosed space Catching fire the curtain lace Looking out from behind the pane Cold glass separating all from pain I view what is mine but what is not A prison of self, sent skywards - shot Lasso a memory draw it near Plump it as pillows beneath my head I cannot - I fear my head is full of stones Which deny a softened place to rest Bare this, bare it - wait it out, I plead! Grasp in fingers the dust of a forgotten dream

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Tom Woody

Date: 12/4/2023 11:36:00 AM

If there were ten placements this would have been included. I'm not feeling much Poe here but deffo some awesome Plath, which ironically I tended toward in the end. Fickle me. Thx for supporting the contest Dilly

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/4/2023 12:33:00 PM

Aww thanks Tom for commenting - I was way more Plath inclined, it's true. I'd been excited for the judging for this one as it was really interesting, so was strangely disappointed. There's definitely Poe as the base poem which has been somewhat Plath-erised. Thanks again

Speaks Volumes

Date: 11/25/2023 8:01:00 AM

Great entry D. Poe would be proud of you. BOL you have created a wonderful poem.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/25/2023 3:14:00 PM

Ahh I'll have to wait for the judging on this one - I like the way the poem went but I can't tell if it's on brief - thanks for your comment x

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 11/18/2023 1:17:00 PM

i think this is an excellent entry for the contest..it reads word perfect to me - i'm glad you got rid of 'thy'! (sage advice from craig there) i like how you've looped the dust in the last line back to the opening line, i like it when a poem does that, and it's a technique i often use myself..a very strong contender :)

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/18/2023 10:39:00 PM

I love when the sub conscious throws out a natural last line that links it together, I do it frequently but it always feels unplanned in the moment. I might remove the word 'draft' and enter it then - thank you :)

Craig Cornish
Date: 11/18/2023 2:41:00 PM

Great point about the dust "wreath" Dear Charlotte---As you know - Just so DD does, the return to the opening thought creates a wreath (seasonal? - not only LOL) and closure? The perfect part though is that the reader can absorb it while - hmmm - sort of like an addition to a house that's perfect - so perfect you (the reader) didn't know---great writing is like that---I know I'll shut up now

Craig Cornish

Date: 11/18/2023 3:29:00 AM

Inspirational writing, so much so, that it's difficult to revisit (revise) - how can one enter that head (dare to)...except THY, pretentious to those who almost understand creative writing, a huge no-no for those who do and to those who don't understand - who cares-----without the THY, I really think you've done well here. Hmm, I must tale a look-see at the Plath/Poe thingy.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/18/2023 3:36:00 AM

How can I argue back when you are being so nice to me... I'm going to change that thy to a my, just this once :) oh, erm thank you :)

Ink Empress

Date: 11/18/2023 1:40:00 AM

Ah this will be a challenge really, tom woody wrote a brilliant poe theme poem once and to be upto that level i am a bit hesitant to write hah. Yours is awesome, deep and moving. as poe has very dark imagery, from bones to ravens to cemetery etc . Plath he means sylvia plath? I hav read few of her poems recently need to read more i guess befo i try. Pleasure reading yours

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/18/2023 1:56:00 AM

Thank you Ink - as I've read more I've realised I'm still far off the mark. It'll take a few attempts I'm sure. Thank you for your kind words. The good thing is that Sylvia Plath suited herself with what she wrote, so the concept of Poe in the style of Plath. Probably impossible the other way round!

Karen Jones

Date: 11/17/2023 11:57:00 PM

This is deep and has me totally engaged. I am re reading it for the pearls within the word choices. Great write even though it is at times beyond my little grasps. You are an original fascinating poet. Thanks for sharing.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/18/2023 12:10:00 AM

Thank you Karen - I've written this quickly to see if I'm on the right track for the contest ask. I'm sure over thinking it could stilt the writing. So this is my gut feel and I may try the more considered approach. It was quite fun to do. Thank you for your kind words x