People Jumping

Your daughter has created a barrier out of cushions from the couch In the middle of your living room Which she and her sleepover friend proceed To jump over, entreating you to "judge" the quality of each jump. You and I continue a long overdue flirtation as you hand out both Encouragement and mild criticism of the girls' form… Without judgment, could praise ever be believed? But what if both judgment and praise are careless or worse? I am struck by how powerful a metaphor this game is for life, Children imbue parents with god-like powers of discernment… How formidable the role a parent's most casual words Play in the development of a child's malleable mind. Some say Jesus is the lens through which we, as adults, Are supposed to be able to visualize our creator's heart, But God seems more distant as I grow older. Why should I need a telescope to see God's smile? My earthly father was so damaged that praise could never pass his lips And his judgment, though it came not often, Could be both violent and unjust Inviting me to hate, not love him as he surely desired. It was as if he confused fear with respect and thought The infrequency of my beatings meant he was a good parent. The monster living so close only made me more careful, And I soon discovered it was easy to fool him. Dad was a good provider though (to all but himself) His childhood dream of working his way around the world Never reaching my ear until I had done so twice On my own, without his help, ignoring "family responsibilities." The sword of judgment I feared never fell, for irony of irony's, It seems that secretly he was proud of me Or so his friends told me after his death. Where was my telescope when I needed it? Now I find myself examining the barriers I've constructed That both tie us together and separate us somehow, Dreaming that jumping them will catch your eye, Bring a smile to your lips and your affection to my heart. And should I feel embarrassed at how childlike this appears? Did not Jesus say that "No one can enter the kingdom of heaven Unless he becomes like a little child? " Well, let no one say it is not heaven that I aspire to.