Terry Flood Poet Rhyme

Out of the Frying Pan

On the day of his divorce 
He put a bet upon a horse
And when it lost he bet again
And then he walked home in the rain

No-one asked, ‘How much d’ya lose?’
He didn’t wipe his muddy shoes
And no-one moaned and no-one groaned
And no-one said you shoulda phoned

In the morning no-one said
Don’t forget to make the bed
Or asked him at the crack of dawn
When you gonna mow the lawn

He didn’t vacuum, didn’t dust 
And how he grinned when no-one fussed
He never liked Do-It-Yourself
But now he needn’t fix that shelf

He got some food inside his belly 
Put his feet up, watched some telly
Guessing it was getting late
Grabbed a beer and called a mate

His ‘Echo’ bought from Amazon
He wondered if she’d left it on
He said, Alexa, what time is it
‘She’ said…
Time you washed up, fixed the fence and paid your mum a visit




[Inspired by my recent purchase of an Amazon Echo and my accidental
discovery that she does jokes. Try saying… Alexa, make me a sandwich (apparently it’s well documented on YouTube but I found out by pure chance)]

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Gershon Wolf December 9, 2021 at 5:23 PM Pretty funny, Terry. But Alexa ruins everything, doesn't she? Worse than the first wife, eh?! :) gw Terry Flood December 9, 2021 at 5:28 PM It’s a weird thing, Gershon… but as a half-way intelligent human being, I get quite a kick every time Alexa says, ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know that one.’ I feel like I scored the winning goal. And yet she’s just a calculator with a voice. Terry

Lindsay Laurie December 6, 2021 at 7:46 PM G'day Terry ... join the club of 'nobody cares any more' that is moving as quick as covid these days - thanks again Terry - Lindsay

John Lawless December 6, 2021 at 6:28 AM ...it all started when we first talked to the clown in the drive through line... Terry Flood December 7, 2021 at 1:14 AM Hi John, I have a teen weeny speech ‘thing’ (couldn’t really call it an impediment) which means I only roll my Rs if I make a conscious effort to do so. In normal speech, my Rs sound somewhere between an R and a W. Once I answered a telephone quiz where the answer was ‘Three’ and the robot on the phone kept asking me to say again. Annie walked in to find me ranting down the phone ‘THRWEE FU*KING THRWEE’. Either I or Alexa has improved as ‘she’ understands my every word. Terry

David Mchattie December 5, 2021 at 5:53 PM Artificial intelligence is getting spooky. A fun romp indeed my friend. Have a great day. Terry Flood December 6, 2021 at 1:06 AM Thanks, David. A dangerous time when our appliances start talking back. Terry

David Kavanagh December 5, 2021 at 2:20 PM Sounds like your Alexia has a much better sense of humour than my Siri, very curt and won’t answer at all if I’m looking for a joking response, maybe I’m asking the wrong questions, Terry Another excellent fun poem to add to your inimitable ensemble, cheers David Terry Flood December 5, 2021 at 3:44 PM Hi, David. ‘She won’t be half so funny when she learns to say ‘No’… or even worse… ‘Up yours, Bud’. That’s when we need to pull the plug. ;-) Terry

Ilene Bauer December 5, 2021 at 1:14 PM so well done, terry! i love everything about this, from the title to the very last line. i always feel like i should thank alexa when she answers a question or sets a timer - it's very weird. (i only get to use her when i'm at my son's house.) Terry Flood December 5, 2021 at 3:40 PM Hi, Ilene, I reckon the next thing we humans will do will be to give ‘her’ a head and shoulders… just to prove that we can. Then it’s ‘Terminator: The Prequel’. Terry

Tom Cunningham December 5, 2021 at 1:09 PM Lol we've had one for about a year now, they're the future I suppose. Had an argument when I asked her to play a song and she told me to sign up for amazon music, we'd had new credit cards and I'd forgotten to update it, my bad lol. We're friends again now. If you're signing up for music there's an expensive one and a cheaper one at £3.99. Every song I've asked her to play it's on there. Must try that sandwich one, Tom Terry Flood December 5, 2021 at 2:50 PM Thanks, Tom. I had literally set up Alexa that day. I was making Annie and I a sandwich and just for a laugh, I said, Alexa, make me a sandwich… and in her own way, she did!

P.S. Awtry December 5, 2021 at 12:33 PM Enjoyed this limited exercise in liberty! That Alexa is watching! :D Terry Flood December 5, 2021 at 12:49 PM Thanks P.S. it’s a strange thing… Alexa was giving me a lengthy answer to a question so I said, Alexa, shut up. ‘She’ apologised and I actually felt guilty. How weird is that? Terry

Lin Lane December 5, 2021 at 12:22 PM What a great witness to the joys of living alone. I am very happy on my own, for all the reasons you list and more. Fun read, Terry. Terry Flood December 5, 2021 at 12:42 PM Thank you Lin. The notion that Alexa actually is ‘watching’ doesn’t seem as far fetched as it might once have done. Terry

L Milton Hankins December 5, 2021 at 12:18 PM Be careful with Alexa. One day I accidentally knocked mine off the table. I said, "Alexa, I'm so sorry!" She replied, "Oh, that's okay!" So, I'm thinking she hears all, knows all. (chuckling) Terry Flood December 5, 2021 at 12:39 PM Thanks, Milt. I wasn’t sure I’d use the Echo that much, but I’ve found it useful for music and switching through radio stations. Anne’s daughter asked Alexa to do fart noises and she duly obliged… Jan would be in hysterics. ;-) Terry Lin Lane December 5, 2021 at 12:20 PM OH!!! That is a titch scary, Milt.