Notes About The Poem

One Disastrous Dessert - For Contest

One ice cream sundae Swirled with whipped cream and a cherry on the top Sitting temptingly in a tall glass But you were out of reach I could see you through the window of the restaurant Melting away in front of my eyes Like your life was ebbing away from you With creamy liquid tears running down the side of the glass Over time the cherry sank deeper into the velvety fluid Until it disappeared into the thick goo It’s blushing red cheek barely visible at the bottom of the goblet ... ONE fire alarm spoiling one perfect moment This is a true story – it happened on 5th September! One contest – Sponsor Rob Carmack 07~09~15
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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Scars Avatar
October 6, 2015 at 12:55 PM
*love* :) wonderful flow!! -LU
Allison Avatar
October 6, 2015 at 1:05 PM
Thanks so much Laura:-) hugs Jan xx
Fraser Avatar
September 14, 2015 at 2:32 PM
Drooling at the image Jan, and loving your quirky writes, hugs//James xx
Fraser Avatar
September 14, 2015 at 2:42 PM
Yes, come on, chop, chop, no slacking ;-) xx
Allison Avatar
September 14, 2015 at 2:38 PM
This really did happen lol ... seeing this reminds me I need to start a poem for Olive's contest:-) hugs jan xx
A  Avatar
September 14, 2015 at 1:09 PM
Jan, congrats on your wonderful win. SKAT love :)
Allison Avatar
September 14, 2015 at 1:33 PM
Thanks Skat:-) hugs Jan xx
A. Sharma Avatar
September 14, 2015 at 4:33 AM
Superb take with this very lovely write Jan n a great win ! Big congrats!
Allison Avatar
September 14, 2015 at 7:34 AM
Thanks Dr Sharma:-) hugs Jan xx
Nunez Avatar
September 13, 2015 at 12:33 PM
Back to congratulate you, Jan. hugs!
Allison Avatar
September 13, 2015 at 12:59 PM
Thanks Kim a fun write and true! hugs jan xx
Ebbs Avatar
September 13, 2015 at 9:06 AM
You have deprived yourself way too long, this is a bloody emergency, go get a sundae! Congrats :)
Allison Avatar
September 13, 2015 at 9:13 AM
ha ha ha I've got some made raspberry ripple ice cream - well I made the raspberry coulis for it lol I will treat myself to some later:-) hugs Jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
September 12, 2015 at 9:06 PM
hey, we are both ones that got 8's this time. hahaha. Oh well, at least we are on the list!! congrats, sweet friend.
Allison Avatar
September 13, 2015 at 4:12 AM
I did ok lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Arowolo Avatar
September 12, 2015 at 8:00 PM
Wonderful piece,nice presentation.. great friend...Congrats on your win....hugs.....
Allison Avatar
September 13, 2015 at 4:12 AM
Thanks so much Olusegun:-) hugs Jan xx
Lariviere Avatar
September 11, 2015 at 2:45 PM
This because you are both sweet and hot! oh la la
Allison Avatar
September 11, 2015 at 2:50 PM
Merci Monsieur:-) hugs Jan xx
Guillermo - Fraser Avatar
September 10, 2015 at 1:30 AM
Jan made me giggle.. You made me remember an experience same as yours.. :D hugs!~Olive ELoisa =")
Allison Avatar
September 10, 2015 at 6:31 AM
Glad I made you smile Olive:-) hugs Jan xx
Rv Avatar
September 9, 2015 at 1:11 PM
Hehe!! This is fantastic, dear Jan! All the best in the contest!! :D :D
Allison Avatar
September 9, 2015 at 5:48 PM
Thanks Sneha:-) hugs Jan xx
Beaufort Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 6:30 PM
Funny. Fortunately, there's plenty more where that came from.
Allison Avatar
September 9, 2015 at 1:12 AM
We didn't wait for another one - the kitchen would be in chaos dealing with orders and re heating dinners that had to be abandoned:-( hugs jan xx
La France Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 4:37 PM
Jan, this is great for the contest, a yummy 7 and thanks for visiting my Cecil poem ~~
Allison Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 4:44 PM
Thanks for dropping by Broken Wings:-) hugs jan xx
A  Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 10:24 AM
Wishing you luck... SKAT
Allison Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 11:18 AM
Thanks Skat:-) hugs Jan xx
Trifiatis Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 5:38 AM
A true story? That makes the poem more incredibly beautiful and amusing. A masterful way to develop the verses. Good luck, dear Jan!
Allison Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 11:18 AM
It's totally true Demetrios - well with a little poetic licence lol:-) hugs jan xx
Marcum Wong Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 2:38 AM
Oh Jan, the personalisation you lend to the sundae is magnificent! It read like a smooth metaphor and was simply enchanting! Bravo. You keep excelling in this art! I loved it. This one is sure to take top honors! To form such poetry from everyday occurances is your forte'.
Allison Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 11:17 AM
I enjoy writing about real life events - my first poem on the site Just Desserts was also a real life occurrence lol - maybe I should skip dessert lol:-) hugs jan xx
A. Sharma Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 1:50 AM
Ah Jan nothing can beat ur wit! Gl in contest!
Allison Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 11:16 AM
Thanks Dr Sharma - not everyone appreciates it :-) hugs Jan xx
Nayak Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 2:52 PM
Dear Jan, nice imagery....nice humour....loved it...now i wish atleast few scoops were relished.. 7!..for the icecreamy write....love, Anu:-)
Allison Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 2:56 PM
Thanks for dropping by Anu:-) hugs jan xx
Onclaud Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 2:41 PM
jan, super funny.. you remind me of erma bombeck, a humorist... greeat work!.. huggs
Allison Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 2:43 PM
Thanks Nette I have also been likened to a British poet called Pam Ayres lol - wish I was that good to become famous lol:-) hugs jan xx
Stoner Jr Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 1:45 PM
lol Jan it could only happen to you. Fun write good luck in the contest.
Allison Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 2:24 PM
Just be warned Robert - if it ever happens to you - pick up the dessert and take it with you!!!:-) hugs jan xx
Tor Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 1:26 PM
Great write. I want he had. You put me there. Darn those fire alarms. Perfect timing, not. Love this Jan.
Allison Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 2:23 PM
I felt sorry for the people who had just had their main meal - we all had to up and leave:-( hugs jan xx
Nunez Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 1:19 PM
I just know you'd go the humorous way, Jan. Oh, but the imagery is so good I was almost salivating! lol!
Allison Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 2:22 PM
I wasn't going to write a poem for the contest but this came to me so I would give it a go with this one:-) hugs jan xx
Smith Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 1:17 PM
I can only imagine your pain...My mouth is watering for an Sundae now
Allison Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 2:21 PM
It was absolutely excruciating Tim.. so near and yet so far - the moment was gone - I felt sorry for the people at the fish and chip shop next door that was evacuated too - at least we had eaten our main meal - there were people at the tables who had to leave them - but they didn't write a poem about it lol:-) hugs jan xx
Dietrich Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 12:46 PM
hahaha. I love that it happened on my birthday! This is a really fun read. not sure if Rob cares about grammar. but I got to thinking and I think the proper word would be sank instead of sunk, the way you are using it in this poem. sink/sank/sunk. Is it the same with British English? I love when you show your life events through poetry!
Allison Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 12:50 PM
Oh I don't want my poem to sink without trace in the contest lol will make it sank:-) thanks:-) hugs Jan xx
Manassian Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 9:50 AM
Oh....Jan. You are a tease. Were you writing about me. That does look good! So...Let me get it...for the contest it's One...anything? ;) Good luck sweetie.
Allison Avatar
September 7, 2015 at 12:32 PM
The theme is 'one' so it's open for interpretation lol - we only had one desert ordered and the fire alarm went off - standing outside watching it melt was excruciating lol:-) hugs jan xx
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