Old Woman In the Supermarket

From my chap book, "Not So Serious"

‘Tradition demands respect for age.’
Proclaimed some ancient Chinese sage.
Ah, that is such a noble thought,
But wise old Chow he really ought
To walk the isles of a supermart,
Stand behind old granny’s cart,
Left mid-aisle, perhaps forgot.
Limp, lump, wrinkle, lowly bent,
God only knows what’s her intent.
She, oh so slowly, moves about,
No particular thought or route.
Oblivious, she, this ancient dame,
To all but her arthritic pain.
But be thou merciful, be kind
When standing in the checkout line.
She’ll goose you with her shopping cart,
Perhaps let loose a trembling fart;
Then once she’s standing at the till,
She’ll fish a coupon, argue the bill.
Then comes one’s truest peeve of all,
Poor clerk has made call after call;
Out comes the hoary, leather purse,
A waiting shopper’s foulest curse.
She shuffles, mixes, dips, dips, dips,
A whiteness on her withered lips.
Minutes go by, seeming  like weeks;
At last she grins, cackling, speaks.
“Oh, dear, my money’s out in the car.
Please wait, I’ll run, it isn’t far.”
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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12
Dietrich Avatar
March 7, 2010 at 10:58 PM
Geeez, is this the one you said you got nothing for? Someimes I don't get it here. haha. LUv, Andrea
Dietrich Avatar
March 6, 2010 at 8:24 PM
AH HAHA, This is GOOD, DAver, I love it. And I KNOW these kinds of people!!! Tell me, how did you place with this one after making it into the finals?? LUv, Andrea
Smith-Johnsen Avatar
January 5, 2010 at 7:27 AM
Congratulations! You have made it through the first round of judging for Poetry soup October 13, 2009 poetry contest with your poem, "Old Woman in the Supermarket". LOL!!! It sounds too REAL!!! What a hoot that one is, Daver. Nice job with this fun write of a familiar subject. 2009 was a successful year of poetry for you. I come, now, wishing you continued success in your writing endeavors throughout 2010 and for many years to come. God be with you. Lovingly, Dane Ann
Dufresne Avatar
January 4, 2010 at 3:11 AM
Daver, this is great! Well I can't remember the last time I laughed over anything at 5 am on a work day. Thanks my friend. Best jof fortune to you. God bless
Dvorkis Avatar
December 26, 2009 at 5:16 PM
Wonderfully playful poem Daver. Congratulations on it making the finals. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest. as far as your poor old woman, she's not alone in being the target of people's impatience and resentment, or in their capacity to show forgiveness and love. If I were there, I'd help her cross the street to where her car is parked:)
Goff Avatar
December 23, 2009 at 9:09 AM
much fun with this creative piece! Daver! happy to see your work sail through the first round! thanks for your kind words, and keep writing your unique poetry! jimbo
Brown Avatar
December 22, 2009 at 9:10 AM
Congratulations on being a first round survivor and the best to you in the finals Daver. I wish you the best in your writing endeavors in 2010 whatever they may be. Love, Carol
George   Avatar
December 21, 2009 at 9:29 PM
I am so glad you entered this one Dave...It is a classic. Best wishes on it going through to the finals. Love, Lainie
Guzzi Avatar
December 21, 2009 at 2:02 PM
LOL you go winner man! Light & Love
Sheart Avatar
December 21, 2009 at 8:15 AM
Congrats on your poem winning the first round of PS contest!! Very well deserved, enjoyed reading your wonderful poetry. Here’s wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! May 2010 be your best year ever! Love Light Patty
Devonshire Avatar
December 20, 2009 at 1:02 PM
You did it, Daver! Glad you entered this one in the Soup Contest. Congrats on making it to the next round! Love you, Carolyn
Richards Avatar
December 20, 2009 at 12:36 PM
I remember how I loved this poem!! It deserves to be in the finals....hooray it made it!! Congratulations dear poet! Happy Holidays, dear Daver!! ~ Love, Carrie
Gorelick Avatar
December 20, 2009 at 11:11 AM
Dave-r..this is wonderful..I missed it before. Im getting close to that catagory myself..so far I havent forgotten my $$. Congrats on your selection for the first round. BG
Fraser Avatar
December 20, 2009 at 9:27 AM
Many congratulations on reaching the second round with your fine poem Daver >> James
Devonshire Avatar
December 3, 2009 at 3:33 PM
You have an amazing sense of wit, Daver! I can just hear those on line groaning as she prepares to run to her car. Very nice! Love you, dear friend, Carolyn
Cameron Avatar
December 3, 2009 at 12:27 PM
great observations, but sad to have a laugh at old age! barbara.
Fisher Avatar
December 3, 2009 at 12:04 PM
Many congrats on your piece being featured this week. Rgds Janette
Brown Avatar
December 1, 2009 at 4:20 AM
Congratulations on your excellent poem being featured this week Daver. May you have many more. Love, Carol
Fraser Avatar
November 30, 2009 at 12:51 PM
Many congratulations on your poem being featured Daver >> James
Nutter Avatar
November 30, 2009 at 5:59 AM
Excellente write. Congratulations on having your poem featured this week. A. W. www.freewebs.com/abcedit
 Avatar
November 29, 2009 at 2:53 PM
Nice use of rhyme and imagery for an interesting view. Congratulations on having your poem featured. I wish you continued success with your writing. Karen
George   Avatar
September 14, 2009 at 1:46 AM
I know that old lady, you must frequent the same super-market I do. HA! hA!. thanks for the chuckle, Dave. Love, Lainie
Joseph Avatar
July 8, 2009 at 12:32 PM
some day (sooner than later) that will be me!
Tugaff Avatar
June 26, 2009 at 9:59 PM
OMG! You made my day. This is indeed hilarious but soemthimes happen. Good day and God bless. Ernilando
Curcio Avatar
June 24, 2009 at 7:27 AM
LOL!!!!! You're too funny! You have a chapbook? Where can I get one? :-D
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