Constance La France Poet Narrative

''Oh, the Tears, the Tears''

the day the doctor told me you were dying
     mother, I was so afraid, unsure and frightened
unclear of what to do and so I listened to others
          I should have brought you home to die
               but I did not do that, no I didn't

you could have been at home with me at your side
    in your own bed with your purring sweet cat
and soothing music and a view of azure blue sky
          that cat waited and searched for you, mom
               for months and months and months

when you got sick I did not hesitate to move home
     we were like happy roommates in the beginning
then ever so slowly I was doing all the banking
          the groceries, the cooking, while still working
               I became your mother over time

but I did not mind one moment of that journey
     we talked and talked and buried all the anger
I would have done anything for you, even given my life
          because you were the one person who loved
              me, without reserve, totally and completely

and when the end came, mom, I failed you bitterly
     I should have brought you home to die, I know now
so I am begging for 'forgiveness' from you and from God
         this pain, a knife in my heart every day, I breathe
              but my forgiveness will never come, never ever

                   "oh, the tears, the tears . . . "



______________________________________
February 16, 2015


Poetry/Narrative/"oh, the tears, the tears"
Copyright Protected, ID 02-641-230-16
All Rights Reserved, 2015, Constance La France


Written for the Standard contest, Forgiveness, 
sponsor, Rob Carmack, Judged 03/2015


Eighth place

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Edward Ebbs February 22, 2015 at 7:00 PM Dropping back with congrats, most definitely heartfelt, just Ed :)

Jan Allison February 22, 2015 at 12:39 PM Dropping back with my congrats Broken Wings:-) Hugs Jan xx

Debra Squyres February 22, 2015 at 9:30 AM I believe one of the hardest things one can do is forgive self for an imagined fault/deed.... Blessing dear one, if this is true... you showed love in the caring for... and their is nothing to forgive. I was a caregiver too... both parents. Many things I wish I could have changed... but I know, as you should... that love was always in the mix.. Well deserved win in the contest... God Bless.

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty February 22, 2015 at 3:44 AM Congratulations Constance on your win. Your poem is fabulous...mark of a real poet.....rajat

Skat A February 21, 2015 at 10:27 PM Broken, CONGRATS on your win ~ SKAT ~

Poet Destroyer A February 21, 2015 at 9:00 PM Lovely win...Linda

Janet Eaton February 21, 2015 at 4:11 PM This broke my heart: but a beautiful poem. Congratulations

Rob Carmack February 21, 2015 at 2:08 PM Constance, we do the best we can, no one without error. If you wronged your mother, if your guilt is from him, God will forgive you, and in his presence, your mother already has. This may not be the issue, the issue may not be them forgiving you, but you forgiving yourself? I pray you are released from this burden soon. Thank you for sharing in my contest.

Shane Cooper February 19, 2015 at 12:49 AM I hear the anguish and pain in your voice. I see the tears you shed. I feel your need for forgiveness. I cry with you, it is all I can share. I have no words to ease your soul. All I can do is share this quote with you and to remind you that you are loved by many here."Luke 6:37 - Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:" Forgive yourself first to find redemption. I am so sorry for your loss my precious friend. Shane

Debbie Guzzi February 18, 2015 at 3:26 PM Constance-I found just the place to publish all your poetry! [melancholyhyperbole.com/guidelines/] check it out! Light & Love Debbie Guzzi February 18, 2015 at 3:29 PM and Constance thank you for always sharing your heart with us - mothers understand- that what mothers do - in HER heart there was nothing to forgive ... I'm sure

David Waldrop February 18, 2015 at 2:37 PM I firmly believe that your Mom and our Lord, never felt angry over the choices you made at that moment in your life. They have never stopped Loving you. Though they are saddened and feel the grief you now hold in your heart.They count your tears. Your Mom is watching you why not make her smile.Follow your heart,Help others as often as you can, never take love for granted. and think of Loved ones that are no longer with us often but focus on the love,laughter, inspiration, and hope they give us.

Andrea Dietrich February 18, 2015 at 2:28 PM You are perfect with poems that show grief and the recollection of precious things. This is another gem in your crown, dear Constance. I loved it.

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri February 18, 2015 at 10:56 AM Oh nooh sweetie dont blame yourself, in a mod world where modernists desert there old ones in old people homes, u did a remarkable job of tending as best as u could. This poem is so beautifully touching, hearwarming and makes us teary. Kudos!

Kp Nunez February 17, 2015 at 8:04 PM Your poem, Broken Wings, took me back to that time when my own mom, advanced in years, was brought to the hospital for fever...yes, fever. Within 48 hours, her organs gave in one after the other. Being the youngest, I lived with her, and was able to take care of her in the last three years of her life. Still, I was never ready. When she finally left 76 hours later, I was shocked, unable to believe. So when I read this poem, I felt I was crying with you, for you and for me as well. Hugs, Kim.

Rhonda Johnson-Saunders February 17, 2015 at 11:10 AM I second what Nathan wrote. It's not easy to write painful feelings, but I think it does help release some of the pain...your mom sounds like a beautiful, loving soul, and I'm sure she wouldn't want you to suffer with this burden. A mother's heart is a forgiving heart. Now, you have to forgive yourself...hugs, Rhonda

Kelly Deschler February 16, 2015 at 9:46 PM I truly understand the pain you felt while writing this poem. My Mom is my closest friend and it would break my heart completely if I ever wronged her... But, if your Mom is anything like mine, then she will forgive you and let your sorrow heal... This is a soulful piece that moves the reader so deeply. Really well done :)

Edward Ebbs February 16, 2015 at 8:06 PM I am so sorry you feel this way. You are carrying a burdon inside that at some point you need to let go. You moved home to share special moments with her as happy romemates! She knows you took care of the groceries, bills and things, while working a job. I have no doubt she was and still is very proud of you. Writing things down like this for me helps the healing process. I hope this will be true for you too...Thank You for sharing :)

Nathan D. February 16, 2015 at 7:38 PM you have more courage then I do to share something so painful and personal. it certainly an amazing poem I hope everyone can appreciate what it takes to put such pain on paper. I applaud you and your work.

Emile Pinet February 16, 2015 at 1:26 PM The reading of this poem made me sad and evoked emotions in me that almost brought tears. Very well written with strong emotion tugging at the heart strings. Emile. #7

Abdelwaheb Dhaou February 16, 2015 at 12:49 PM Very touching verses Broken Wings ! I have almost had the same awful experience. What is done can't be undone! One advice continue to revive her soul with your sensitive pen. An awesome piece you have here concocted,bravo !

Jan Allison February 16, 2015 at 12:14 PM Simply heartbreaking write Broken Wings - good luck in the contest - i think we are going to see many emotional writes:-) Hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen February 16, 2015 at 12:05 PM - Dear B.W. you've done the best you could - nothing to regret !!!!! - I am "the father of my father" or "mother of my father" :))) .... but, I can not nursing him 24 1/2 hours a day - no daughter or son can do it in "our time in 2015" - A poem that grabs my soul - hugs to you, do not cry more tears (sorry my bad english) - // Anne-Lise :)

Njeri Hunjeri February 16, 2015 at 11:14 AM Oh Broken Wings, I cried when I read this. Am sure your mother appreciates what you did for her no matter how little it seemed. All the best in the contest. Love njeri