Oh Life

Oh life!
I was on a ride of life,
going happily 
around the beautiful world!
I had everything...
but then this dark hooded figure,
knocked on my door...
I am not the same anymore
because I now have everything but honestly nothing. 

I curled into a small ball,
made a hard wall
I feel numb 
Oh life, what have you done?

lost my hobbies
lost my gossip time
lost my friends
lost all the fun
lost all my pretty smiles
Oh life, are you happy now?
 
I wanna scream so loud,
I wanna yell, I wanna shout
I wanna escape this pain away 
I do not deserve to feel it anyway, 
or do I?

The salty tracks of the tears
line up my face like the scars on my ankles
I write the word "alone" but see it as "my home sweet home". 

People tell me to get up
and that I need to fight
and that it's all in my mind
but I tell them, it's not as easy as they say
because I am stuck on this bay. 

Oh life, you have won this race
I am still lost in the maze

I am in this prison
saving my fragile sanity from shattering
saving this soul from breaking
I am suffocating
gasping for air
but nobody's there,
gasping for air
but nobody cares. 

A dark cloud hangs over my head
Dark thoughts swirl in my head
Oh life, you've made me into your Miss Negativity!

Oh life, why have you taken my joy away?
I was so happy before!
but not anymore
Oh time, I want yesterday once more
I can't live this way anymore!

When I was yearning for a big hug,
I heard my mom call me crazy 
saying it's all disgusting
She tells me to stop all this nonsense
makes me believe,
Is sadness a privilege?
can't I cry?
do I not deserve to feel it?

Oh life I was one of your strongest soldiers,
the happiest one-
Why have you made me this weak now?

Oh life, you are such a big bad thief
You have stolen my precious childhood away
told me to find my way

Beautiful wind, take this pain away
Show me away
I am drowning in the dark sea,
I am suffocating
can't breathe
Can't you see?
I wanna break my heart into tiny pieces
Throw them into the waves
throw them away

But we need to live
We need to thrive 
We need to survive
I need to get up
I have to break my shell
But I can't forget I fell. 

Oh life I have failed your test
I tried my best
Help me, somebody help me,
Don't judge me, please
I am not crazy
just doomed in some misery
Just help me, save me from this black hole
And I'll find my way
I'll try my best, Oh life! 
I haven't lost my will to win!
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

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George Avatar
September 10, 2023 at 6:35 AM
Life is one of ups and downs. Sometimes we feel utterly exhausted ! The transition from a blissful state to one so despicable can happen abruptly ! By giving vent to our depressing thoughts definitely our mind gets a cathartic effect. Somehow we have to find means and ways to bounce back. The realization that life is not easy for anyone will make us feel better. A poignant poem Harveen. Hearty welcome to Poetry Soup community.
Kaur Avatar
September 10, 2023 at 8:47 AM
Thank you for your encouraging comment.
Callus Avatar
September 10, 2023 at 1:13 AM
This expressive poem is very touching, Harveen. No, I will not judge you, but I can show empathy instead. Life can be testy and cruel; hard enough to break us down. It is up to us to fight back, rise and move on with determination. ~ Best regards // paul
Kaur Avatar
September 10, 2023 at 1:27 AM
Thank you for your uplifting comment!
Baker Avatar
August 31, 2023 at 10:13 AM
A fine Dramatic Monologue, Harveen. I liked the victory in the end by not giving up the will to win. Write On! Bill
Kaur Avatar
August 31, 2023 at 6:17 PM
Thankyou!
Downing  Avatar
August 28, 2023 at 6:35 PM
This is deeply felt. I can honestly say I have been there… Great write, Harveen, and welcome to soup. :)
Kaur Avatar
August 28, 2023 at 11:14 PM
Thankyou!
Agustin Avatar
August 27, 2023 at 11:32 PM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Welcome to Poetry Soup. I welcome you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.
Kaur Avatar
August 28, 2023 at 2:25 AM
Glad that you read it and thankyou for your blessings.
Watt Avatar
August 25, 2023 at 5:50 PM
I am sorry for whatever sorrows you have had to endure, Harveen. I trust you will find the will to overcome your adversity, and from it become a stronger person. You certainly write with a lot of passion and honesty. I encourage you to keep channeling your sadness into your writing; I believe you will find it helps to dull the pain somewhat and allows you a personal history of your struggles to someday look back on. Thank you for your visit today, and welcome to Poetry Soup ~ John
Kaur Avatar
August 25, 2023 at 6:43 PM
Thankyou for your support. And yes writing certainly helps to move forward in life. I really appreciate your concern. Thanks. -Harveen
Puddifoot Avatar
August 25, 2023 at 2:56 PM
i've felt like this myself many times, but we mustn't lose our will to win..hope things get better for you..thanks for reading my work, and welcome to the site
Kaur Avatar
August 25, 2023 at 6:44 PM
thankyou!
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