Numbers Not Names

I've been trying for years to get this thing down The thing they call the marriage game Been on the alter so many times around I've given them all numbers instead of names Well #1 didn't last too long Blame it on being new to the rules Thought of her as a slave starting on my wedding day She thought of me as a mean cruel fool Through #2, 3, and 4 I was much better Though I still didn't have it down #5, 6, 7, 8 I should have dropped after the first date Then my lawyer bills wouldn't be such a mound But #33 was always sweet to me I remember how #42 gave her love away One thing I did that wasn't dumb was to keep a wedding album Where I could put a number to every face It was #84 that was such a bore Should have stuck with #13 the beauty queen Or was that #88, it's hard to keep the ladies straight Perhaps I should study that album in between Looking back on it now, to the ladies I take a bow I loved each and everyone like a wife Treating them like royalty came easily to me As I gave each and every one of them the best two months of their lives