Nothing to See Untitled Painting, Gertrude Abercrombie

I do not wish to proffer an explanation What I wish to do is stand still a moment Whilst you now observe me I have this vantage point Aware yet blind to perspective We both presume What I hope to divine Though lost to the rational or the magical With a haze of stars, offensive in their number The peripheral transposed as empty plains I sense the absurd, I feel it - it's a terror Standing still, by choice Feeling abandoned & separate from most everything I picked my shade of blue for this day And so I dwell there These four walls not making me feel safe Forever aware of the plank I could walk to nowhere As I wait for any form of lightning to strike The moonlight has on occasion comforted The light stopping at the external wall Inside is dark with nothing but thoughts So I stare out at the terrain Knowing there's nothing more in every direction Whilst immersed in intensified nothing In the guts of it all, churned up It's sedate from the outside looking in, I'll give it that But there's an absence of warmth And a loneliness I can't convey I could talk to the only other soul here But as I looked at their expression My heart sank and I turned away In that moment everything set Permanence became of the stillness And in it, all I can do is contemplate my fate Quite alone, not letting anyone in Safe as houses, so no help comes