Annie Lander Poet Free verse

Not Really Knowing

Who know me best,  

Who know me, (me)

When I fall in love

I fall hard, or am I mistaken his love

For candy on my eyes, for now,

Or is this the real thing,

I know the truth,  

Am I in total denial of wanting?

Denial has a dark side:

I have a past, of repeating,

The same mistakes,  

Why can’t I see passed those brown eyes,

The saddest part, he hasn't taken me to cloud nine

Or touch my G spots, or glorify me,

What is it about him, that make me thirsty?

I cry so much last night, I cried  

Cry of loneliness, sexual deprivation,

I even cry after sex, they called it the

drowning in a sea of feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine,  

But it never happened, the done deal so why am I crying?

I will blame this one on my booster shot,

What the hell they injected into my body?

I am seeing things in a different form of light.

Or is my lack of trust?  

I cry even more, seeing his ringtone

And refused to take the called,

Just wanted him to reach for me instead,

I wonder if he has any idea, of what he is

Doing to me: I am a woman,

I need to be touch.  

How can I overlook this jealousy?

And focus, on me, and not on him

Your needs are being met,

I feel like I am pregnant, again, waiting  

For that little life inside of me to

Come out and love me. Wholeheartedly.

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Bill Baker December 13, 2021 at 7:24 AM So heartfelt are your words. I hope for you, a love that is true. Look for the heart of a person first, a friend, then allow love to possess both of you. Just a thought to consider. You have to be true to yourself and love yourself first. A poet friend in the making, Bill

Joseph P. DiMino December 8, 2021 at 11:59 AM Wow! Brutally honest with self. I think that is the beginning for all of us. Excellent poetry! I mean, truly well written. Sounds like you are a deserving, passionate person -- I pray this time for you will be a lasting journey with someone that turns out to be a true partner. Blessings my friend! Annie Lander December 8, 2021 at 1:15 PM thank you.. Joe Dimino for reading.. that all i can hope for honest and a loving partner..