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New Year's Eve Blues

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My sister took her life 5 years ago today. Worst day of my life not knowing where she was or if she was even alive. When we found her body on St. Patrick's Day 2011, my world crashed. Every New Year's Eve will be stained with blood red memories.

After the day I had I could care less

   Being sad is all I wish to do tonight

     Confetti in crowds makes me stressed

         Dear Lord, I wish we could reunite

Everyone left to hang out downtown

   Friends no more because I do not drink

     Going to bed as they watch the countdown

        How long until these memories go extinct?

If only I had a moment to spend with you

   Joke and laugh and remember our yesterday's

      Karen, please visit and lend me a tissue

        Lonely me just needs to know if you're ok

Mad at you for taking on the whole world

   New Year's Eve you killed yourself

     Opportunities you could never afford

        Praying constantly for your mental health

Quiting while living and dying in vain

    Regret swallowed you like a tornado

      Sadness has left bleeding tears that stain

          Treacherous lava from your volcano

Using and drinking became your hell

  Violent outbursts in the family room
    Walking alone and drunk you fell

        Xanax was eventually your doom

You need to know how sorry I am

    Zero smiles because of Karen JoAnn

Date Written: December 31, 2015
For the contest: Contest Forms-A
Sponsor: Broken Wings

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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Date: 12/14/2016 3:13:00 PM
so lovely to read this again LuLoo such an emotional poem:-) hugs jan xx
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Date: 12/14/2016 2:42:00 AM
Hugs for you Laura, I won't say congratulations because that sounds so painful here....
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Date: 12/13/2016 1:49:00 PM
Laura, congratulations on your win in my contest with this emotional write, the pain is felt in each word, well done ~
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Date: 12/13/2016 12:22:00 PM
Congratulations on your win, Laura, with this heart felt piece. // Barry
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Date: 12/12/2016 10:21:00 PM
This well-written, WINNING poem is so heart-wrenching, so REAL. Janice
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Date: 12/12/2016 10:17:00 PM
Congratulations on your win, sweet lady Hugs Eve
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Date: 1/1/2016 7:32:00 PM
Touching and devasting, i couldn't escape sinking down...
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Date: 1/1/2016 6:06:00 PM
P.S. I read the comments below. I am here, in the USA. My State is Virginia, yours? CayCay (and I have never liked drinking, but am not without some bad habits, shh - don't tell). Read my poem "One More Last Call" about my sibling's addiction issues - or not, depends on what you can handle this moment ... CayCay
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Lu Loo
Date: 1/1/2016 6:22:00 PM
You are so sweet CayCay. I feel like I just met you! I've been here for over 2 months but I love the fact I have run into yet one more amazing woman and poet. Soupmail me whenever you wish! I'm always available. I'm going to go read it right now. Thank you for your kind words and inspiration you have given. God Bless -Luloo *smiles* hugs* *thanks* <3
Date: 1/1/2016 6:03:00 PM
LuLoo - right? I don't know where to begin, that you can take what I believe are true emotions (not a fictional write) and let them flow under this restrictive structure is most impressive! And, although you named specifics, this write hits home for me and, I know, others. Every time I read you I am genuinely impressed - you've got the gift. As for me, I was asleep way before midnight and would like right now to think of you as smiling! 7 ... CayCay
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Date: 12/31/2015 7:08:00 PM
oh LuLoo this is so so sad an end to a life from addiction:-( I find New year quite depressing and toast it in with a cup of tea as I rarely drink too :-(hugs Jan xx
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Date: 12/31/2015 7:18:00 PM
Lets say I don't know anyone else on the Isle of Man who posts here lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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Lu Loo
Date: 12/31/2015 7:17:00 PM
I feel like everyone I know doesn't live in USA! I feel like the black sheep! hehe
Date: 12/31/2015 7:11:00 PM
It would be lovely LuLoo:-):-) maybe one year we will get to the US again - its been many many years since we last visited and there are so many people I would love to meet! :-) hugs Jan xx
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Lu Loo
Date: 12/31/2015 7:10:00 PM
Why don't you live in USA??? Why don't I live by you?? I could have a latte and you can sip on tea :)