My House Is For Sale

My House is For Sale By Elton Camp I put a sign into the yard. It shouldn’t be very hard. My house is just the best, It is far above all the rest. For sale by owner sounds so easy Though strangers make me queasy. For appointment you must call If even to see my house at all. You should see me flash a grin When all the eager calls begin. Each of them will then quickly say, “How much for your house today?” When you tell them the price. They say,“Oh, that’s so nice. I’m your neighbor next door. Wondered what it’s going for.” I give tours to those who ask. And in their fake interest bask. “I think your house is just fine And I so want to make it mine.” “I will call back in a day or so, Please hold and don’t let it go.” “Then pay something down” Always brings a sour frown. Bogus buyer calls no more All will stay just as before He never really meant to buy, It was only a chance to spy. Time comes to work with pros. I find there are plenty of those. “Sell your house quick as can be And for such a reasonable fee.” It’ll be my true delight To have exclusive right When your home I sell, I’ll be doing very well. Open house we hold today For it, you must go away. If put into a spotless state Perhaps very high it’ll rate. All at the showing went well. Two hot prospects I can tell. One comes for second look. Trust me now, he’s no crook. And when he comes back, Quickly please begin to pack. Because you’ll be moving out I say it without a single doubt. Sorry, but he said “No dice.” Least not at the asking price. But you’ll like he did proffer What we call a low ball offer. Your furniture has to stay And accept his price today. His current offer is the top. And tomorrow, it will drop. For you to avoid defection, Got to pass home inspection. If any problem should arise, Must be fixed before he buys. Earnest money he will pay But not over $500, no way. If the deals goes off the track He must get every dime back. Oh, did I think to mention It is his inflexible intention That the roof be made new Also, his list of jobs to do? Certainly, you pay closing cost If not, the sale is sure to be lost. And give money to redecorate. Your sense of style they so hate. The deal is one you must take For my own commission’s sake. Now, don’t you dare try to stall You’re lucky to get a sale at all.