Get Your Premium Membership

My Five Senses

Darkness. Total and irrevocable. But I was alive. I cannot hear. Whispers, mumbling Information was just absent. Still, I could not use my sight. Someone touched my hand. Warm but indifferent Fiddling with some stand. Hospital’s nasty smells. A pipe was in my arm. Someone adjusted it. She spoke with some charm. The total of my present life, I could hear, I could feel. But no sight, no speech I could smell, but no meal. I yearned for something sweet, My tongue tasted like powdered wheat. Was I stuck in some groove? Deep coma, someone said. Should we switch him off? So I’m to die? A tear fell. It was all right for him to scoff. I felt coming to some cough. Right there, deep in my throat. I opened my eyes and slightly lifted my hand. I will not let them sink my boat.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 10/21/2024 8:49:00 PM
I love how you ended this with him making it be known he wanted to live. Good one
Login to Reply
Date: 10/21/2024 3:16:00 AM
Intense. Fierce warrior spirit. Hold resolve steady, my friend. Enjoyed this poem, superbly penned.
Login to Reply
Date: 10/19/2024 8:50:00 AM
Great imagery of self, my friend. Eerie, surroundings of feelings of a time in a coma. Enjoyed reading. Hugs
Login to Reply
Date: 10/17/2024 12:37:00 PM
This is very powerful. The dark can be very powerful over us- but your powers have won. A gripping poem -
Login to Reply
Date: 10/17/2024 12:11:00 AM
Loved this, as this could also be me, felt the exact the same.
Login to Reply
Date: 10/16/2024 7:17:00 AM
For sure; hang in there. God's time. When he says, Time to turn off -- you will open to smiles and joyful reunion. Wow, exciting writing.
Login to Reply
Date: 10/16/2024 7:08:00 AM
Wow, very intense. You have shown us well. Great strong ending. ! :)
Login to Reply
Date: 10/16/2024 7:01:00 AM
So eerie, Victor, the experience you so terrifyingly describe! I too am glad the happy outcome!! So well done!!!
Login to Reply
Date: 10/16/2024 1:00:00 AM
Must be a terrible experience to be aware but unable to communicate with the outside world. Tom
Login to Reply
Date: 10/15/2024 6:10:00 PM
I enjoyed reading this poem and its wonderful ending, Victor. Sometimes people in comas are more aware than we know. Nicely written.
Login to Reply
Date: 10/15/2024 1:22:00 PM
I love this happy ending. Your description was so genuine that I wondered if you had experienced a near death. Take care of yourself. There are many years ahead.
Login to Reply
Date: 10/15/2024 1:16:00 PM
Dear Victor, Ahhh, the inevitability of the possibility of death. Sometimes, when I go in for my colonoscopy and they put me under, I wonder if I will wake up. Well written my friend! Autumn Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel
Login to Reply
Date: 10/15/2024 1:12:00 PM
WOW!!! What a write/story. Hope this one is Not true. Have a wonderful Autumn day writing away...................
Login to Reply
Date: 10/15/2024 11:28:00 AM
Such a sad tale Victor, I was asked the question, should we resuscitate when my husband had sepsis, of course I said yes. My sister went in for an operation this year at the age of 66 and she was also asked if they should resuscitate if things went wrong, it’s unbelievable… Beryl
Login to Reply
Date: 10/15/2024 10:47:00 AM
Darkness, nasty smells, Should we switch him off? So I’m to die? A tear fell. Opening eyes, wanting to live… Emotive and heartrending indeed. Hugs
Login to Reply
Date: 10/15/2024 10:24:00 AM
Oh wow this is so haunting dear victor, what a powerful write, the way you weave words in such a detailed manner really evokes such strong emotions. I really felt this one! And i can imagine what a person in place such as coma would feel! This made me feel so much! Sigh! Iv seen so many loved ones in coma and hospitals and being in such terrible states can be very haunting. I hope you are well. You are a brilliant poetic storyteller. I just got back from a short break! Sending you light always
Login to Reply

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry