Mr Slick and the Ladies
I stroll into the bar one night, pausing at the door
I smooth these luscious locks back, start to strut my stuff
I see all the ladies looking at me, clearly wanting more
I’m pretty damn perceptive, they couldn’t get enough
It began as quite an uneventful night, out to have a drink
Some sleazy type trips through the door, all in disarray
He tried to play it cool, pausing for effect, I think
Like a car crash they say, I just could not look away
I see one group all googly eyed and checking me out
I lean on a table nearby, wink and flex a muscle
Moving to the bar they watch me, without a doubt
They don’t know it yet but easy pick up is my hustle
He leans on a strangers table, tipping the whole thing
Drinks falling on the ground, angry patrons start to yell
He stumbles to the bar, escaping a near punching
There might be something in his eye too, hard to tell
I hear some jealous guys spilling drinks and talking trash
I ignore them and say, “Hey barkeep, shot of Whiskey!”
I nod at the those lustful ladies, stroke my sweet mustache
I see them staring back, Oh I bet they’re feeling frisky
We hear him call the bartender BoPeep, not sure why
Then he orders a short of whiskers, whatever that meant
He put his hand in some food on the bar as he went by
Because he then wiped it all over his face by accident
I think these ogling gals are finally ready for the show
I sit down beside one and she eagerly leans forward
I talked them up when I see this other hottie I should know
So I cut em loose, with these broads I was bored
He fell into our booth as he stomped on my toes
Bending to hold my aching foot, he’s no Mr. Slick
He slurred some nonsense, spilt some more and off he goes
Then heads to a model in a cutout for a beer ad, what a ….schmuk.
Copyright © Hat Bueckert | Year Posted 2022
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