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I stroll into the bar one night, pausing at the door I smooth these luscious locks back, start to strut my stuff I see all the ladies looking at me, clearly wanting more I’m pretty damn perceptive, they couldn’t get enough It began as quite an uneventful night, out to have a drink Some sleazy type trips through the door, all in disarray He tried to play it cool, pausing for effect, I think Like a car crash they say, I just could not look away I see one group all googly eyed and checking me out I lean on a table nearby, wink and flex a muscle Moving to the bar they watch me, without a doubt They don’t know it yet but easy pick up is my hustle He leans on a strangers table, tipping the whole thing Drinks falling on the ground, angry patrons start to yell He stumbles to the bar, escaping a near punching There might be something in his eye too, hard to tell I hear some jealous guys spilling drinks and talking trash I ignore them and say, “Hey barkeep, shot of Whiskey!” I nod at the those lustful ladies, stroke my sweet mustache I see them staring back, Oh I bet they’re feeling frisky We hear him call the bartender BoPeep, not sure why Then he orders a short of whiskers, whatever that meant He put his hand in some food on the bar as he went by Because he then wiped it all over his face by accident I think these ogling gals are finally ready for the show I sit down beside one and she eagerly leans forward I talked them up when I see this other hottie I should know So I cut em loose, with these broads I was bored He fell into our booth as he stomped on my toes Bending to hold my aching foot, he’s no Mr. Slick He slurred some nonsense, spilt some more and off he goes Then heads to a model in a cutout for a beer ad, what a ….schmuk.
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