Premiere Contest WinnerMirror of a Son's Eyes

He 
has certainly 
perfected the art 
of being a smart a** -
a trait that swims like a tadpole 
in his father’s gene pool
and nurtured by that very nature..
his tongue swells with sarcasm 
his mouth just can’t contain
overflowing the once polite orifice 
with a dam burst of wry words  
wise cracks snapped! like a quick-witted whip with a grin
    ..that at once  
both burns and tickles me

         but 
     those eyes never change

from my cradle-arms 
to a young man
they are still the cyan
of Monet’s Water Lilies 
alive with electrical excitement 
where voltage thrills the spectacle of imagination; 
    ..as free to be as the aurora borealis   shape-shifting 
   like a neon Norse god..
his horizon the runesmith scribing 
upon the midnight vellum 
a daydream designed by colors of musical notes..
this sensory rainbow a ribbon tied 
to beyond the lip-lock of earth and sky..
a consciousness kissed with creative continuum
full of buoyant light yearning 
to take flight across the cerebral airglow 
seeking heights of deep space wonder -
a heart charged with cosmic currents
his soul akin to solar winds roaming the galaxies..

 aha!
    and   t h e r e 
         is where I see myself in him -
        yonder side of meager  w a n t ...
      his mind has wings 
and   n e e d s   to fly!

..and I am wondering
how wonderful it would be
to be his age once again -

to string 
my youthful wishes 
upon a staid set of stars;
not the tragic magic of stardust  
where a comet’s fireworks reigned
till one early morn 
when meteor showers rained 
my ill-fated dreams falling down -
O Libra 
if only you had another chance to weigh 
the arc of an outcome

….but then...
what would be of the golden mirror
I see my reflection in?


Susan Ashley 
April 21, 2021


~ First Place ~
Premiere Contest: Open Poetry 3
Sponsor: Charlotte Puddifoot
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

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12
Lindley Avatar
August 30, 2023 at 9:15 AM
As always, I find another truly brilliantly composed creation. The depths and language stirs the poets soul. Another true masterpiece imho. A definite fav for me. God bless you my dear friend.
Ashley Avatar
September 2, 2023 at 9:03 AM
My dear friend, your visit is a delight and your beautiful comments are uplifting. Thank your, Robert, for finding value in my poem and for the high honor of your fav! Your poetry friendship is appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Zeitlin Avatar
December 24, 2022 at 2:36 PM
I love this piece. It perfectly captures the challenging, often frustrating, and always bittersweet moments with a teenager. I'm living this poem every day. A masterful work!
Ashley Avatar
December 26, 2022 at 10:53 AM
Dear Jonathon, thank you for sharing your precious thoughts and for joining in the emotions of this poem with me. Your kind comments are received with gratitude. Though you're living with this poem every day and it may feel like it'll be this way forever, time passes so quickly and soon they are twenty-four.. like my youngest son is now and I wonder about how fast it all went and how much things have changed. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan
George Avatar
August 2, 2022 at 9:15 PM
I can only exclaim... 'Wow'! Your golden pen is etching gleaming stellar designs in the magic firmament inviting everyone to raise their eyes to stand in woderment ! What a poem on your son. Your description of his eyes is matchless ! What depth in those eyes alive with electrical excitement, in his heart charged with cosmic currents and in his soul akin to solar winds roaming the galaxies...! Your wish to be once more back to his age to string your youthful wshes upon a staid of stars...is a wish of most of us ! Big salutes to you great poetess! An absolute delight!
Ashley Avatar
August 7, 2022 at 9:34 AM
Dearest Valsa, I relish your shining presence and the radiant glow you so generously bestow upon my poem. I am so very honored and humbled by your inspiring response. Your golden words add true value to my poem and touch my heart very deeply. Thank you for your beautiful comments that fill me with appreciation for your genuine heart. You are a grand poetess! In fellowship, I admire your exquisite artistry and grow in gratitude for our poetic friendship. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan
Gibson Avatar
May 11, 2022 at 4:14 PM
Susan, I have been indulging in your wonderful writing this evening. I have read more than a few of your poems; all have touched me. Your talent soars. This one is just beautiful. My son died sixteen years ago at age 33. This poem particularly touched me. Also, My Winter Wishes--just outstanding in content and execution.
Ashley Avatar
May 13, 2022 at 7:30 AM
Dear Faye, I am so very saddened to learn of your beloved son’s death and I’m moved to imagine the extreme heartache you’ve experienced and still endure, but I know it doesn’t compare to your reality. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem and for sharing your heart with me. Your gracious presence is truly inspiring and appreciated. Your heartwarming words about my poetry touch me deeply. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Proxenos Avatar
May 29, 2021 at 9:52 AM
Susan you always excel when writing poetry, each one you post is better than the previous one, although honestly I should rather say that they can't get any better than this! aha, and there I see my self in him, most sons take after their mothers and daughters after their fathers. Perfection of poetry I would say this write is. Well done Susan. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer.
Ashley Avatar
June 5, 2021 at 8:20 AM
My dearest Jennifer, I cherish your glowing presence and the lovely light you shine upon my poem. You are ever inspiring. Thank you for your beautiful comments that fill me with appreciation for you and our wonderful friendship. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, life's demands have left little free time these past weeks. Unfortunately, that seems to be a constant refrain from me... Warmest wishes, love and hugs to you, my sweet poetry sister
Cohen Avatar
May 27, 2021 at 8:17 PM
This is awesome, Susan. "... swims like a tadpole in his father’s gene pool is great, and that's just the beginning! Best to you.
Ashley Avatar
June 5, 2021 at 8:13 AM
Dear Eric, your response to my poem fills me with appreciation. Both your gracious visit and heartwarming comments are held in my deepest gratitude. Thank you, my friend, for your kindness. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Goldsmith Avatar
May 25, 2021 at 10:28 AM
Congratulations on your win. What a creative and wonderful write. Love It. Have a blessed day writing away...............
Ashley Avatar
June 5, 2021 at 8:15 AM
Dear Paula, your gracious visit and kind congrats are a delight to receive. I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for your heartwarming comments, my sweet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Y. Avatar
May 23, 2021 at 6:14 AM
WoW! Susan, I don’t know how I missed such a poetic masterpiece. I immediately thought of my son as I read this because my son can be sarcastic too. Nevertheless, he is the apple of my eye, and he has so much to my eyes. Thanks for sharing such a fantastic write. Happy belated Mother’s Day. Congratulations on your top win in the contest. It was well deserved:-) Alexis
Ashley Avatar
June 5, 2021 at 8:10 AM
My dear friend, Alexis, I relish your comments and kind congrats. They are treasured and held in my deepest gratitude. As I said to Andrea, it seems as if our sons share an appreciation for the art of sarcasm lol! Lucky us! :)) Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me and please accept my apologies for my late reply, life's demands have left little free time these past weeks. I hope you had a beautiful Mother's Day, my sweet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Parker Avatar
May 19, 2021 at 12:02 PM
only a mother could describe the beauty of love that pours from her heart for her child, the cord of life once tethered in birth remains though now unseen, to love and cherish no matter how old, always her child, always her baby...powerful poetry...dear poet, dear friend
Ashley Avatar
June 5, 2021 at 8:04 AM
The way you express your deep and textured thoughts never fails to impress and amaze me, Frederic. I am enthralled by your enchanting mind and sensitive heart that allows you to feel and understand things beyond the normal realm of perception. Your splendid soul is beautiful and so is your shining friendship. Thank you, dear poet, dear friend, for the light that gleams through your words. Warmest wishes, dear Frederic.. ~Susan
Dietrich Avatar
May 12, 2021 at 10:28 PM
Such splendid writing. Your free verse talent is amazing. Congrats. I see you have maybe 8 trophy wins on your current page of poem. Fantastic. (my son, by the way, sure fits the beginning part of this poem of yours!!)
Ashley Avatar
June 4, 2021 at 6:48 PM
Thank you, Andrea, for your gracious and generous comments. Your heartwarming congrats are held in my deepest appreciation. It seems as if our sons share an appreciation for the art of sarcasm lol! Lucky us! :)) Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan
Peck Avatar
May 10, 2021 at 10:41 AM
Oh, Susan, My words are too weak to describe the beauty of this poem! What a tribute to your son and your love! Another favorite.
Ashley Avatar
May 12, 2021 at 11:56 AM
Dear Ann, your response to my poem fills me with appreciation. Both your gracious presence and beautiful heart are held in my deepest gratitude. Thank you, my friend, for your kindness and for the honor of favoring my poem. Warmest wishes, sweet lady.. ~Susan
Marcum Wong Avatar
May 10, 2021 at 10:00 AM
Dear Susan, your unconditional love for your son just blooms in this garden of his divergent attributes. I love your clever wit in descriptions of his personality that shares the gene pool from both of his parents. That golden mirror that reflects your image as well as his. Wow, I am just in awe of this spectacular creation! This is a trophy win I won’t soon forget! I am saving it to my faves! A Mother’s Day poem that deserves the adorations given. Congratulations my dear friend. Happy belated Mother’s Day!
Ashley Avatar
May 10, 2021 at 9:01 PM
My dear and wonderful friend, Connie, I relish your beautiful response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the realm of unconditional love with me, a realm I know that you know well as a devoted mother and grandmother. Thank you for the grand honor of you fave as well as your heartwarming congrats. I am fortunate to have enjoyed a lovely Mother’s Day and I hope that yours was truly lovely too. Warmest wishes always, sweet lady.. ~Susan
Brul Avatar
May 10, 2021 at 5:50 AM
My heart melts as I read this sublime poem. A great tribute on Mother’s’ Day! Your ink never fails dear Susan.. This is a fave for me..and congratulations on a well-deserved trophy win!
Ashley Avatar
May 10, 2021 at 7:53 PM
Dear JCB, I relish your tender response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your kind congrats and the honor of your fave are held in my deepest gratitude, my sweet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Seeker Avatar
May 8, 2021 at 10:05 PM
An amazing poem to read today, on Mother’s Day!
Ashley Avatar
May 9, 2021 at 8:36 AM
Thank you, Seeker, for sharing in the experience of this poem with me. Your presence shines its golden light upon my poem and I am filled with appreciation. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Kauffman Avatar
May 5, 2021 at 9:28 AM
Dearest Rhyme time friend, this is exquisite! Your amazing use of imagery "a trait that swims like a tadpole in your father's gene pool" always leaves me in sublime awe of your talent and your poetic skill dear poetess. That line alone is a rich example of layers to be unpacked in contemplation! I just stand back in complete and utter amazement! Congratulations on your win. This just shines!
Ashley Avatar
May 9, 2021 at 8:23 AM
My dear Rhyme Time friend, I am both humbled and honored to receive your generous comments and I am rich in appreciation for your inspiring friendship. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts and kind congrats with me, Sam, I hold them in the very depths of my grateful heart where they shine eternal in honor of you, a gifted poetess and beautiful friend. Sending you warmest wishes and hugs wrapped in rays of light.. ~Susan
Zahid Avatar
April 29, 2021 at 4:09 AM
Superb... Beautifully penned.
Zahid Avatar
July 12, 2021 at 5:26 AM
Oh, it okay Susan. That's really kind of you. A mother's duty is really tough, we can understand... Cheers
Ashley Avatar
May 6, 2021 at 9:53 AM
Thank you, Paghunda, for your lovely visit. I relish your beautiful comments, as well as your gifted poetic pen. Your wonderful presence is ever inspiring, my friend. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, life has been very busy lately. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Wolf Avatar
April 28, 2021 at 12:32 PM
Dear Susan, Once again I have to make myself available for a (free!) consultation on ways for crafty poets to wiggle (and giggle) past the evil snares of censorship. To save time, I'll even make a suggestion right here, out in the open -- gasp! (Bye-bye, privacy!): Fourth line, of course. Synonym for mule or donkey. Several censor-avoidance options: 1.) 'Smart Alexander' 2.) wiseacre 3.) asp 4.) Wisenheimer. Once again, ALL this comes to you free of charge! ~ Mr. Generosity, aka 'Arse'
Ashley Avatar
May 6, 2021 at 10:03 AM
Dear Mr. Generosity, you certainly do live up to your name. Your gracious and generous advice is a joy to receive. A free consultation (with wiggles and giggles) to defeat the evil snares of censorship is a dramatic and irresistible offer! Lol! Who could pass that up!! You are too good to me, my friend :) Thank you, Gershon, for always looking out for me.. for free!! :)) Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Jayasankar Avatar
April 27, 2021 at 9:26 AM
Oh my... What a great poetry and choice of words.. As always your poetic gem shines bright... just AWESOME... I can never ever write like this... ending lines amazing.... a mother's love and appreciation of her son, his eyes where she sees her own reflection.. beautiful imageries dear Susan.. Congrats on your win... Hugs.. ~ Ani
Ashley Avatar
May 9, 2021 at 8:13 AM
My dearest Ani, your inspiring words both humble and honor me, and lift my spirit to beyond the blue! Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me, I hold them with appreciation in the depths of my heart. Your poetry is ever so deep and beautiful, my sweet friend, I adore and admire the spill of your gifted pen across the wanting page as your verse fills my being with their wonder. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, life keeps me busy as a bee! Warmest wishes and hugs, my lovely poetess.. ~Susan
Callus Avatar
April 27, 2021 at 1:55 AM
This is excellent, Susan. You write with wide-open eyes and a clear mind, and yet there are passionate emotions flowing throughout. Parents get to know their children quite well, but I imagine that mothers have that something extra which gives them an edge over their husbands/partners. ~ Congratulations for a deserved first place (and another trophy in your showcase :) ~ Warm regards & Hugs // paul
Ashley Avatar
May 9, 2021 at 8:05 AM
Thank you, Paul, for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me. I'm thrilled by your response and gladdened by your kind congrats. Indeed, being a mom, I do feel like we have an intuitive advantage in knowing our children. Being tied together through the womb, we share ourselves, mother and child, in an intimate way no man can ever experience. Your deep and wonderful presence inspires me greatly, my dear friend. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, life keeps me busy as a bee! Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan
Agustin Avatar
April 26, 2021 at 7:30 AM
Wow! Congrats! Thanks for sharing your joys of motherhood seeing your son succeed --- through your awesome poetic style... God bless you.
Ashley Avatar
May 6, 2021 at 9:50 AM
Thank you, Beata, for your lovely visit. I relish your beautiful comments and heartwarming congrats. Your shining presence is ever inspiring. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, life has been very busy lately. Warmest wishes, dear poetess.. ~Susan
Gaul Avatar
April 25, 2021 at 7:03 PM
I see a step in a different and interesting new direction. This phrasing is so visceral, so powerful. The emotive nature of this piece with glimpses into the author's makes this a tour de force and a unique verse for PS. Congratulations. Inspiring.
Ashley Avatar
May 6, 2021 at 9:46 AM
My dear friend, Greg, I relish your poetic reaction and amazing comments. Your insights are so very inspiring and a thrill to receive. My pen seems to take me in directions both well traveled and unexpected too, into new adventures of my heart's imagination. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me and for your heartwarming congrats, your precious thoughts touch mine deeply. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, life has been very busy lately. Warmest wishes, dear poet.. ~Susan
Radice Avatar
April 25, 2021 at 10:15 AM
Just superb.
Ashley Avatar
April 25, 2021 at 11:00 AM
Thank you for your gracious visit and heartwarming comment, Gary. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Sambourne Avatar
April 25, 2021 at 9:00 AM
Incredibly powerful poem! Your message + word choice shear the reader's mind. I particularly like the lines "..dam burst of wry words," "..lip-lock of earth + sky" and "...the cerebral airglow seeking." Such creative originality well deserves the top prize. Best wishes, Brian
Ashley Avatar
April 26, 2021 at 5:43 PM
Dear Brian, I am both encouraged and inspired by the warm, rich texture of your valued comments. You are as gracious as you are talented, dear poet. Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me, they are the fruitful seed sown in the garden from which I grow. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Woodrow Avatar
April 25, 2021 at 8:55 AM
Beautiful as per usual, number 1 Susan!! I laughed at your opening stanza - the dad's side uh?! I suppose your eye-rolling did not pass on hehehe Such a read and great ending - way to make a come back with the writing! Congratulations :))
Ashley Avatar
April 26, 2021 at 5:33 PM
Ok.. maybe the eye-rolling, the non-verbal sarcasm, was my contribution, lol! You are so perceptive, Susan, numero uno! :)) I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem, my friend. Thank you for your awesome comments and kindhearted congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Mcintosh Avatar
April 25, 2021 at 6:51 AM
Back to congratulate you on a deserved win!!! God bless you. Love, Gina
Ashley Avatar
April 25, 2021 at 11:09 AM
Dear Regina, your return visit fills me with delight, as does your heartwarming congrats. Thank you, my sweet and lovely friend. Sending you my warmest wishes and love.. ~Susan
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