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Her name was Methane Bertha And if you met you'd know why There's always a southern wind blowing Everyone she meets holds their nose And then says goodbye. She eats nothing but sprouts coffee and beans She has a massive deriaire and isn't very clean Bertha once had a date At last it was her fate But it's so hard to kiss someone With a gas mask on your face. Her best friend smelly Janet Had a lovely thought She bought Bertha a present in the shape of a cork. Bertha placed it carefully Where the sun doesn't shine But the gas just built up inside of her She grew like a balloon And floated in the air. The fire brigade was called And they rushed as fast as they can But soon as they saw it was Bertha They turned around and hastily dropped their plan. Eventually the cork flew out And Bertha landed safely upon the ground With a very long southern wind kinda sound. One day Bertha was out in town And everyone around ran away It was methane Bertha And they knew a southern wind would blow them away. Well one day Bertha met her man He had a constant cold So didn't understand. He was a trumpet player called Angelo from Peru It wasn't long before she had learned to play the trumpet too That southern wind would give out a cheerful tune And very soon They gave outside concerts Around the world And run their car on methane And would blow together so romantic Under the stars and moon. If ever you see Bertha My advice to you Is to wear a close peg on your nose Like the locals do. Peter Dome.copyright.2014. July.
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