Love Note

I found your cuff link
glinting like a lonely star 
on the closet floor
looking as lost as I feel
pining for your star-bright smiles


For Rick's love note/tanka contest

longingtanka

♡Like0

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Marquis Mc Mills-Cooper

August 10, 2013 at 2:58 PM

Cute! "...like a lonely star on the closet floor..." a cuff link, very nice!!! MC

Isaiah Zerbst

July 17, 2013 at 12:24 PM

Positively resplendent! The loneliness in this poem can be distinctly felt! Hmmph... you won another contest. I am getting jealous. Maybe you could coach me in the finer points of poetry. ~ Did you know that you are the absolute best commentator on the soup? I was pleased as punch and nearly et my hat when I read your last one.

Adarsh Raj

June 25, 2013 at 11:57 PM

Beautiful....congrats on your win:):):):)Adarsh

Elaine George

June 23, 2013 at 6:42 PM

Paints a very vivid picture, Many congrats on your win, Heather. Elaine George.

Andrea Dietrich

June 23, 2013 at 12:06 AM

I remember this one from before. Glad it made the list. It really is cute. Congrats, my friend.

Kim Merryman

June 22, 2013 at 5:30 PM

Such a melancholy picture, Heather. Well done! Congrats on your win! Love, KIm

Carrie Richards

June 22, 2013 at 4:39 PM

Oh, yes........a keepsake left behind...how touching this is!! Great poem, Heather!! Congratulations!

Barbara Gorelick

June 22, 2013 at 12:06 PM

Wow, Heather, this is so beautiful..congrats. BG

Eileen Manassian

June 22, 2013 at 10:22 AM

:) That last line, Heather....how beautiful! Congrats, sweetie! You are amazing!

Andrea Dietrich

June 21, 2013 at 3:21 PM

Oh, I LOVE yours. So glad to have seen this. One of my favorites so far in the contest.

Painted Hunter

June 17, 2013 at 12:13 PM

That's a winner. There's a lot going on there...it's great!

Mario De Paz

June 17, 2013 at 10:42 AM

A love note every lover would appreciate

Charlotte Puddifoot

June 17, 2013 at 9:40 AM

oh wow, this is just perfect in every way, heather - "glinting like a lonely star" is a wonderful simile, and "star-bright smiles" is spot on, linking in nicely with that second line; can't see this as anything other than a top ranking tanka, great work :)