Lost Achievement

An array of acknowledgements loom from my wall, A constant reminder of who I could have been Two for excelling in reading But that was a lifetime ago I can barely understand a text Two for writing, but as I scratch this out, My hand shakes and the pencil crashes down Three for learning French But now I struggle to speak in my own tongue, Today I couldn't string together the sound of my name The arts awards shoot me through the heart and knock me to my knees I can't hold a brush I can't remember my lines I don't know the notes I don't have the energy I can't I don't The medals flicker blindingly in my drooping eyes Once a champion, forever an embarrassing has-been Flashing devastating news through a failing mind One more hit One more fall One more mistake Means the end No last story No curtain call No final fight My heart and soul sucked away as I lay Sedated and bleeding, begging and pleading for my life I want to push through I need to hold on I can't just give up But what do I have to reach for? It took my heart Took my soul Took my life What can I do? Your face floats through and I extend a trembling hand I can do this I'll finish my story The show must go on The final fight