Email Poem

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Poem

An array of acknowledgements loom from my wall,
A constant reminder of who I could have been
Two for excelling in reading
But that was a lifetime ago
I can barely understand a text
Two for writing, but as I scratch this out,
My hand shakes and the pencil crashes down
Three for learning French
But now I struggle to speak in my own tongue,
Today I couldn't string together the sound of my name
The arts awards shoot me through the heart and knock me to my knees
I can't hold a brush
I can't remember my lines
I don't know the notes
I don't have the energy
I can't
I don't 
The medals flicker blindingly in my drooping eyes
Once a champion, forever an embarrassing has-been
Flashing devastating news through a failing mind
One more hit
One more fall
One more mistake
Means the end
No last story
No curtain call
No final fight
My heart and soul sucked away as I lay
Sedated and bleeding, begging and pleading for my life
I want to push through
I need to hold on
I can't just give up
But what do I have to reach for?
It took my heart
Took my soul
Took my life
What can I do?
Your face floats through and I extend a trembling hand
I can do this
I'll finish my story
The show must go on
The final fight

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