Living In a State of Emergency

Maybe we should embrace our own ends As we would a lover Who We rejected for too long With her wild eyes. Both will be too eager to see you. One as a killer And the other? And the other? The promise of spending nights in the emergency room Will always be kept Stuck watching silent tv sets. Everyone listens for the nurse’s call. The life that comes After midnight Wakes flowers Like orchids Which bloom under moonlight **** into the sunless waiting room Which leads Into the deserts of sexless sleep with dry dreams at its end or as an applause. 2 Most of us would rather disappear Into the movies That only show retrospectives where destiny will always ride Unarmed Though some of us wish he would pull A hidden sword. This would be preferable to Say finding a letter tapped to your door From some desperate friend Who found a natural home in Bellevue Or the bottom of the Hudson. “come over at once” No one around here waits too long For you so don’t take too long To visit. You see, some of us look To escape ourselves And all our true loves by Surrendering to the IR To reach the gray ocean With waters that are Always cold But never freezes. Such moves require perfect timing The dictates of the clock Which I find too demanding For me to find The right words To put on the page Without risking absurdity. Are you going to scratch at the heavy metal door “screaming let me in?” These films are all that is left now that innocent’s green dreams born of our childhood has been recalled. Experience is After all a fetishist’s garden. Where the vines reach for your gentiles (As punishment Born of Jewish or Catholic guilt) With the sensation Of pleasures burning Some bitter afternoon that no one asked for. Those are the hours when we lay around In unmade beds designed for something dead and forgotten but holier than guru Mi’s bullshit, where my mattress absorbs more sweat than ideas of a future that comes from the point of a gun.