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Personal Note:
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Poem
Maybe we should embrace our own ends
As we would a lover
Who We rejected for too long
With her wild eyes.
Both will be too eager to see you.
One as a killer
And the other?
And the other?
The promise of spending nights in the emergency room
Will always be kept
Stuck watching silent tv sets. 
Everyone listens for the nurse’s call.
The life that comes
After midnight
Wakes
flowers
Like orchids
Which bloom under moonlight
 shit into the sunless waiting room 
Which leads
Into the deserts of sexless sleep
with dry dreams
at its end
or as an applause.
2
Most of us would rather disappear
Into the movies
That only show retrospectives
where destiny will always ride
Unarmed
Though some of us wish he would pull 
A hidden sword.
This would be preferable to 
Say finding a letter tapped to your door
From some desperate friend
Who found a natural home in Bellevue
Or the bottom of the Hudson. 
“come over at once”
No one around here waits too long 
For you so don’t take too long
To visit.
You see,
 some of us look
To escape ourselves
And all our true loves by 
Surrendering to the IR
To reach the gray ocean
With waters that are
Always cold 
But never freezes.
Such moves require perfect timing 
The dictates of the clock
Which I find too demanding
For me to find 
The right words 
To put on the page
Without risking absurdity.

Are you going to scratch at the 
heavy metal door
“screaming
let me in?”

These films are all that is left 
now
that innocent’s green dreams 
born of our childhood
  has been recalled.
Experience is
After all 
 a fetishist’s garden.
Where the vines reach for your gentiles
(As punishment 
Born of Jewish or Catholic guilt)
With the sensation 
Of pleasures burning
Some bitter afternoon that no one asked for.
Those are the hours when we lay around
In unmade beds designed for
 something dead
and forgotten 
but holier than guru Mi’s bullshit,
where my mattress absorbs more sweat than ideas
of a future that comes from the point of a gun.
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