Light Broadening II Paul Klee

sink beneath the surface every time goaded same event distorted until colour coded and always bedraggled and gasping for air terrified that this is actually fair failings cascade like works of art brokeness perfectly playing it's part around each hell bubble is success ability to self rescue out of each mess though at the centre is the invisible flaw ready to ensnare and insides gnaw wrap self in the ache I cannot shed as wounds around me are freshly bled I listen on occasion to others orate describe me and confidently predict my fate though sediment clouds near everything my existence occurs and to that I cling I took a lung full of chaos then attached dead weights a warped sense of perspective it creates huge expanse of absolute contrast unarticulated unrest that then amassed some layers of peeled off adhesive remain all wrong side up and yellowing stain exposed to elements usefulness wanes malcreated blueprints form different pains I'm there somewhere as much as here as light still enters rooms shrouded in fear gobbled up but still able to see overlays the perhaps the best they can be maze like shame that is sticky and pervasive containing old screams enveloping or invasive there is a sky however muted and constant light even if diluted pools of blue beneath serene ledges comfort prevailing amongst rounded edges able to rest though slide back to the start lost in blurred vision due to heavy scarred heart clarity sits in pockets so fresh and clear mocking what I fail to see and hear telling me I won't get there this time tethered to burdens from several lifelines but I'll learn and adapt and I'm closer than before the weight of self awareness I'll shed at the door walking through I'll cast off and be light the damage done will be all set right I've seen enough for today and will close my eyes contemplate if it's real or self sabotaging lies I feel sick at the thought of how I've been stuck wasting abundance by seeing empty cup already defeated whilst graced with ease I'll pray for access to this life's keys wake up without those pits to fall into emerge from resting feeling brand new turned around and forward facing step by step with steady pacing on straighter path that leads up and out freed from fear and shame and doubt leave behind this bubbled haze to embrace and commit to different phase not tomorrow but I am finding my way mantra held that I'll get there some day